Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: A- | 669 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Quest for Fire

At the Tagi camp, Rudy wants organization, Richard wants the conch, and someone wants to pee. Richard perches up in a tree and talks psycho-babble teamwork gibberish to Susan, a self-proclaimed redneck (and a literal Hick) who disses his corporate ways and proclaims, Action, man. Action, Richard. Let me just say for the record that I am opposed to the idea of seeing Richard engaged in any sort of action. Richard lamely comes back with, Yeah, but you don't want to act ahead. Whatever that means. Stuck up in the tree like that he reminds me of the Cheshire Cat, complete with the riddling and the shit-eating grin. In the confessional he says, "I've got the million-dollar check written already. I mean, I'm the winner." Oh, and Richard, watch your back on the way out, okay? I don't like him and neither does Dirk. How do I know? He tells me. He tells us all. I don't believe the camera crew favors Richard either. There's one too many shot of him preening himself up in the tree like a chimpanzee. (And no offense is intended for all you chimps out there.) I half expected him to pick a bug off his head and eat it. Oh right, I saw scenes from the next episode; the bug-eating happens next week.

The commercial tells us to look who's coming to CBS. I never realized Paul Sorvino was a drawing point for the masses.

Back at Tagi camp, they're unpacking their loot. They find corn, biscuits, a frying pan, life jackets, a team flag, and some other random stuff. Pity the camp whose crateload of condoms sunk. Maybe there will be a challenge for them later. Or maybe not. One can only hope. Richard remains riddling up in his tree; he wants a congregation but they're not having it. He finally jumps off the log and the camera gets a hysterical shot of him wobbling as he lands, maybe two feet down. There are various shots of disgusted Tagi as Richard preaches teamwork. Sean is good-natured, isn't he? Awwww. And a doctor too, my mother might note. ["And cute as all get-out." -- Wing Chun] The Tagi team starts to work together; I think we're supposed to feel joyous about this judging by the jubilant-sounding music.

Pagong team finds a map and B.B. and Ramona go off in search of water, since Ramona likes to drink, it not swim in it. B.B. says "warsh" instead of "wash." Tee. Hee. When they find the water supply, B.B. jokingly suggests that since only they have the map and know where the water is, they should tell no one else and thus cannot be voted off. Sounds like a plan to me. This is about survival, right? They should at least be hoarding some of it. Of course, there's always the cold running water at the hotel where the crew stays. Back at camp, Pagong gets to know each other. B.B. talks about his forty-five-year old wife and Viagra. Raise your hand if you didn't need to know that. Later, we are treated to some lovely night-vision shots of rats crawling near sleeping bodies and in their food supply. Who needs to go all the way to Malaysia when they can have the same thing right here in Baltimore?

Survivor

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