The commercial tells us to look who's coming to CBS. I never realized Paul Sorvino was a drawing point for the masses.
Back at Tagi camp, they're unpacking their loot. They find corn, biscuits, a frying pan, life jackets, a team flag, and some other random stuff. Pity the camp whose crateload of condoms sunk. Maybe there will be a challenge for them later. Or maybe not. One can only hope. Richard remains riddling up in his tree; he wants a congregation but they're not having it. He finally jumps off the log and the camera gets a hysterical shot of him wobbling as he lands, maybe two feet down. There are various shots of disgusted Tagi as Richard preaches teamwork. Sean is good-natured, isn't he? Awwww. And a doctor too, my mother might note. ["And cute as all get-out." -- Wing Chun] The Tagi team starts to work together; I think we're supposed to feel joyous about this judging by the jubilant-sounding music.
Pagong team finds a map and B.B. and Ramona go off in search of water, since Ramona likes to drink, it not swim in it. B.B. says "warsh" instead of "wash." Tee. Hee. When they find the water supply, B.B. jokingly suggests that since only they have the map and know where the water is, they should tell no one else and thus cannot be voted off. Sounds like a plan to me. This is about survival, right? They should at least be hoarding some of it. Of course, there's always the cold running water at the hotel where the crew stays. Back at camp, Pagong gets to know each other. B.B. talks about his forty-five-year old wife and Viagra. Raise your hand if you didn't need to know that. Later, we are treated to some lovely night-vision shots of rats crawling near sleeping bodies and in their food supply. Who needs to go all the way to Malaysia when they can have the same thing right here in Baltimore?
The morning of Day Two finds Rudy talking about the problem with kids these days. (Note Theme One: The Generation Gap.) Rudy comments, "Trying to keep 'em all shut up is hard." Try, Rudy. Please try. We see shots of Rudy doing push-ups and military-like activities. The young Tagi are doing yoga and tai chi. No joke. Sean reveals his pierced nipple to Susan. He thinks he's "edgy." Susan is hacking her knotted hair off with a knife. Hey! She stole that from Buffy! Sonja has already hurt herself from "thrashing around like [she's] fifteen." I'm so glad they didn't show the thrashing, and in what sense do most fifteen-year-olds thrash anyway? My new boyfriend Sean uses his medical training to patch her up. Dirk tries to cut through a log and Richard offers up a big fat serving of the usual: useless help. Sonja and her ukelele perform a little ditty about Prozac. Richard watches and tries to look supportive but we all know he made his overweight ten-year-old run up a hill at 4 AM, don't we? Richard baits some fish traps with rats. Ew.