Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 750 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Merger Day Massacre

We got plenty of this too; we don't use too much of it. We have it, but we don't eat it. It's a lot of work for a little bit of sugar, it seems to me, you know?" And let's just say I was appointed ambassador to China or India or some other country with a rice-based diet. I probably wouldn't walk in and proclaim, "We got plenty of this, but we don't want it," as if I'm too good for it; insulting other peoples' ways of life isn't the best way to spread goodwill. Jenna says Tagi is like a "well-oiled machine" and is raving over a manta ray as the Tagi prepare for a "delicious meal"; we then see Greg choking down sour coconut milk and rejecting it. Sean shrugs and says, "I don't need any more," and both he and Greg have disgusted looks on their faces as they spit out whatever they're attempting to ingest. They look like three-year-olds who have been given fruit instead of cookies at snack time. Rich says of the manta ray that, "If you've have fried calamari, well we're having roasted," and in my experience roasted calamari tastes nothing like fried calamari (try comparing roasted onions to onion rings) so I don't see how roasted manta ray could taste just like fried calamari but whatever. Rich then raves about how sweet the lobster is as if he has something to do with it. He says in a confessional that the merge will set up a "whole 'nother set of interpersonal dynamics that'll be fun for me to watch!" which leads to Richard's asking Jenna if she's heard any rumors about Tagi. Don't tell Jenna your secrets because she responds, "That you guys are plotting an alliance against us, divide-and-conquer sort of thing. That's the big thing." Rich says, "Really," and tries to sound very amused by this. It sort of ruins the point of the game if cameramen and crew are tittering and gossiping to each camp about the other, but no more so, I guess, then when Just Peachy plays judge and jury. Sue then tells us they'll "slide into home plate" if they can make it through the first two votes "getting somebody off of their team off," and let the misappropriated sexual comments commence! Jenna and Richard agree that they want to get to know each other's teams, except Jenna believes the bullshit. In an alliance pow-wow, Richard says he thinks Jenna is sincere and Sue agrees, making for the first kind word she's said of anybody in nineteen days. Richard then butters Kelly up by saying, "Jenna is young, and not a mature young like you" and Kelly virtually titters with pride. Sue adds, "Yes, she's young and flaky," because she realizes she actually just complimented someone and wants to take it back. Jenna tells Richard that she wanted to come across as a "strong young mom 'cause I think they're often portrayed as victims of circumstances." We then cut over to the alliance where Rich is saying that if she wants to be proud for her children she should "show [your] girls what it's about and win!" Talking Rudy Doll grumpily tells us that six days ago he was totally against the alliance but, "I seen sic the light. If you wanna win this money you gotta get a little dirty." Richard asks the alliance if they know who's next, and Sue says, "Who after Greg?" Kelly and Sue both suggest Jenna, but Richard says, "I was thinkin' Sean." Sue looks momentarily flummoxed and then says, "Oh yeah!" as if she was thinking it, but we know she wasn't, because her brain feeds of Richard's and can't function independently, and Kelly's brain feeds off Sue's and can't function independently, and they're all three like one giant nasty brain-sharing set of Siamese triplets. Richard says, "He's too much competition and he will not participate." Sue tells us in a confessional, "The reason Sean's not in an alliance is because Sean. Is. Dumb."

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