The Merger

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | 3 USERS: A+
Merger Day Massacre

At Pagong, Gervase says that Sean seems like an honest guy with lots of stories to tell. He says that Sean hasn't had fun yet and that Pagong will "bring lots of fun his way. We'll keep him entertained." Which sounds like a threat to me. As Sean and Jenna separately head out for the "summit," someone pulls Talking Rudy Doll's string and he says, "Jenna and Sean are gonna have a good time talkin'. I dunno which one talks the most. She ain't shut up since she's been here."

The on-screen captioning reads, "Ambassadors Summit; One Mile Offshore; Sand Spit -- Day Nineteen," and this alone accomplishes the amazing feat of being just as silly as any words to ooze out of Just Peachy's mouth thus far. In the background, Italian music plays while we see shots of lobster, tiki torches, and a table set with lemons, wine, and some E. Peachy pulls out Jenna's chair for her as he says, "Welcome Jenna, a chair just for you; Welcome." As Sean arrives and hugs Jenna hello, Peachy reaches his all-time creepy factor when he says, "Wow, we're off to a good start. A little kiss. I like that," as he leers and drools into the melted butter. He then recites the foods they have in case they are unable to identify for themselves lobster, bread, baked potatoes, lemon, and wine. They have the whole night to deliberate, name the new tribe, paint a new flag, and identify three items to take from the abandoned camp. The new tribe's color will be green which is, of course, the natural merger of yellow and orange on a color wheel. He then points out two beds and the ambassadors react as if they hadn't noticed them before, even though they're only two feet away and difficult to miss what with the strewn rose petals, suspended mirrors, and leopard-print bedspreads. Sean says, "So we are definitely staying here tonight," and you can see the wheels ever so slowly turning in his mind. We see various shots of Sean and Jenna chowing down; and one particularly gross slow-motion shot of Sean stuffing a big piece of potato in his mouth. At some point, the music switches to Latin flava. Jenna tells us it was set up like a "romantic dinner" with a "bedside table" but that "there's not a spark there." We then see Sean laying out the sexual bases including the fine explanation that "second base is up the shirt." Jenna's claims she's never heard of the rounding-the-bases metaphor and that she only knew what the home run was and I thought this may have been a joke about having twins as an unmarried twenty-two-year-old, but I really don't see Jenna going there. Sean randomly says, "Sliding into home plate" and Jenna shuts him up even though she hasn't been terribly bashful so far, bragging about how "goal-oriented" she is. An under-the-table shot is contrived to make us think our ambassadors are playing footsies, but upon multiple rewinds and pauses, it doesn't appear that there's actually any contact. Sean says it was supposed to be more romantic than it was but that they "tied one on" anyway as we see them moving the beds inside. Jenna is concerned that Pagong will be worried about her, so Sean throws some kerosene on the fire as a shout-out. Pagong sees the fire and Greg looks very cute and concerned as to whether Jenna is being fed since there's only been "one lunch." Back on the sand spit, Jenna tells us that they've had four bottles of wine; as rain starts to come down, she joins Sean in the candle-lit tent with another bottle of wine and they must have edited out the part where these two have their stomachs pumped in the morning. As the scene ends, Sean says, "Wanna go to bed?" and I would be totally shocked if these too didn't play some island hide-and-seek if you get my sand drift and I know you do.

Close-up shots of crabs seem to indicate new mornings on this show, as opposed to the more standard cock's crow. Gretchen sounds irritated as she says, "We were just waiting 'cause no one's given us any information so, I mean, last night we were wondering where she was and then somebody said, 'Well she can't come back 'till the negotiations are over' but there's really nothing to negotiate. We coulda made a shelter in that time. We coulda made whatever they're negotiating for. We coulda moved our whole camp and done in that time so I don't know what the whole process is about." Gervase tells us, "We miss Jenna. We haven't seen Jenna at all since she's left. We were kinda worried about her last night when she still wasn't here." He misses her so much he voted for her last week? Because that makes sense. Greg sharpens or chops something and says, "I'd be wasting my time and energy to, uh, guess what's happening so I don't even bother. What's goin' on? It's a beautiful day. The sun's nice. You can see, uh, Mt. Kinabulu and, uh, we're gonna go fishin'." Pagong must have borrowed a cup of sour grapes from Tagi and Greg must've borrowed his speech pattern from Ramoaner.

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