The Merger

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | 3 USERS: A+
Merger Day Massacre
don't forget. The young guys might've liked it. But it's a pain in the ass to me."

Gretchen find a clue in a bottle and reads aloud, "Just take a deep breath and don't come up for air," and follows with the rest of the poem, but the first part is all that matters. Richard exercises his considerable brain power by concluding, "I'm guessin' it's a holding-your-breath competition."

At Snake Island, the Rattana tribe is lined up on a dock like they're chillin' at the MTV Beach House. Peachy introduces an "immunity talisman," which means no votes can be cast against its wearer. In the first round of this week's challenge, the S10 hold their breath underwater, and the last three to surface move on to the next round. They all giggle and laugh when they get in the water, because swimming is really funny when you live on an island. Peachy begins the contest and I immediately know Jenna's a goner because she's holding her nose. There's a bar under water to help keep them submerged and most of them have their arms roped through the bar and crossed over their chests. Idiot Seanvant looks around and tries to find something to count. Kelly comes up first, then Jenna, then Colleen, then Sue, then Gretchen. They all start giggling and laughing because holding one's breath is comic gold. Rudy takes off his goggles, looks around to make sure all the women are gone, and surfaces. The four remaining just look around at each other and Richard nonchalantly examines his fingernails and then floats to the surface. Sean makes eye contact with Gervase and gives him a big encouraging grin. He then grabs Greg's hand, points at himself, and motions upward as he releases the bar. Greg realizes there's only two of them left and that three win, motions like, "whatever, dude" and emerges. Gervase hams it up, counting legs of the surfaced survivors, and finally comes up, ecstatic. I think he forgot about the second part of the challenge since there was little reason for him to exert further energy by staying under for so long. Just Peachy tells us that the final round is also about holding your breath, but "adding speed." At the bottom of the ocean floor are horizontal ladders with buoys attached; the three finalists crawl along the ladder, yanking off the buoys, and the first one to the end wins. Gervase appears to have learned to swim by now, but he still clings to his buoy at the starting point which makes for fairly comic effect since putting pressure on something buoyant that floats just makes it bob even more so he's floating and bobbing all over the place. As the contest starts, Gervase can't even submerge himself and rises to the surface, and that's it for him. Sean and Greg crawl along the ladders neck and neck, both looking like sleek panthers or something. Greg barely beats Sean, who handles the defeat gracefully. Greg puts on the necklace and preens.

Back from the commercial, we go straight to Tribal Council. Richard tells us in a confessional, "But even though we aren't any longer two different teams, I still have a team. It's gonna be interesting because we're not solid. We're solid with one another but we are not solidly unbeatable yet just by circumstance, because there are only four of us and there are still ten people left on the island." Thanks for the math lesson. Kelly tells us in a confessional which suggests she actually may possess free will, "When you get in that Tribal Council and you walk up and see that little piece of paper and the thing that you put the vote in, it's all different, you know. You might -- you might have a thought and say, 'Hey! I really don't want to vote this person off.' It's easier said than done. An alliance is easier said than done." Greg tells us, "If people are fear- and self-preservation motivated, they'll band together, they'll form alliances, they'll start beating people out to try and get rid of the strong ones and get rid of this and get rid of that. And, uh, you know if that happens I hope they vote me off really soon because, uh that to me is, uh -- Whoa! Cool flying fish! -- that, to me, is really boring." Greg actually showed enthusiasm for the natural island life which is something we've yet to see from the other survivors, who could be playing this game in my parent's back yard and having the exact same experience. Jenna tells us she wants to vote based on merit and not on, "Let's get rid of each of them first and then come back to our tribe."

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