Survivor
The Merger

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Merger Day Massacre

Peachy tells us the merger "doesn't change the rules, doesn't change anything here," in another fine George Bush imitation. Persistent Peachy tries once again to call out Richard on the alliances by asking how the "group dynamics" have changed. Richard dodges the question by saying that he hasn't noticed a change and that they get along "really really really well." Gretchen says that strategies will shift and that it's now important to get rid of the strongest people because they're competition, at which point a giant blinking neon arrow appears over her head. Idiot Seanvant says everyone was concerned that the merger would become a "Tagi vs. Pagong bloodbath" and he very earnestly says he doesn't think that will happen.

And on to the vote! Greg votes for Jenna and says, "Either be here or be gone" like he's Timothy Leary or something. Gretchen tells us she's voting for Rudy because "he's probably the person [she] respect[s] most in the tribe, but the person [she] least [wants to] play the game with." Colleen votes for Rich because he's "over-confident" as we then pan to a shot of a very smug and self-satisfied Richard. Jenna votes for "Gervis" and moos. So the girl likes to moo. Sean votes and says, "I am not really employing any strategy. I'm voting for Colleen today. I love her. She's cute, adorable, and nice to look at and fun to have around. But she's the first in a long list of alphabetical order and, uh, she won't get another vote for me unless she pisses me off or something. But it's her turn today, being the first, alphabetical order," and sort of points at the camera, in case we missed it. Poor little Idiot Seanvant -- he can't help it if he likes doing things alphabetically.

Jeff comes back with the conveniently suspenseful tally. The first vote is for Jenna and the second vote is for Richard, who as a bastion of discretion, laughs, looks around, and winks at someone. The third vote is Gretchen, followed by a vote for Rudy and then one for Sue. Above Sue's name, Greg's name is crossed out with an "Oops." I wonder which charming castaway has such wit and personality as to contrive to splendid a joke. Colleen and Gervase get the next two votes and Jenna whispers, "Everybody got nailed," but I thought only she got nailed last night on the sand spit with Idiot Seanvant. Peachy reads two more votes for Gretchen who looks distraught and exclaims, "Oh my God! Oh my God! That's me!" Peachy reads the final vote for Gretchen and all the castaways looks completely shocked and Sean looks like he might cry. Gretchen hugs Colleen and Greg looks away. None of the alliance look at her. As Gretchen brings her torch to Just Peachy, she suddenly goes all ghetto and does sort of wazzup gestures and peace-outs and wags her tongue and moonwalks off the set. Without the moonwalking. The S10 cheer, which is supposed to be supportive but seems rather callous to me. Rudy watches her, then looks away; he seems remorseful. Just Peachy rolls his eyes and says, "Well, if tonight's vote is any indication, the stakes have definitely been raised." Even Peachy gets no joy from this!

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