Last week on Survivor: Colby won a visit from his mom and her makeup before winning yet another immunity. Elisabeth rode her high horse right out of the Outback.
The show opens with an eternal montage of everything that's happened to date this season. And I mean everything. They don't want the three of you out there who just tuned in to feel left out. This wouldn't be so bad if the "special" clips show hadn't already wowed us with its "special" ability to repeat. It's important to know that Michael fell in the fire. It's not so important to know, but more fun to know that Jerri got dropped on her back by Colby. Several times.
Before I begin, and since I'm suffering, I think you all should as well: I can't hear Peachy say, "One will become The Sole Survivor" without launching in my head into the heartfelt chorus of "Sole Survivor" by Michael Bolton. And then I get to thinking about his shiny balding pate and combed over mullet and then my mind goes thankfully blank. These recaps come to you at a high price to my sanity.
Once we get through that montage (and we barely do) we launch into an extra long it-isn't- exciting-enough- to-air-without- special-effects scenery montage. This time they make it look as if the trees are running along the horizon; it actually made me laugh. Maybe I should be happy that this stuff is new and not the same old crocodile falling off the same old log. But don't worry all of you kooky croc fans, he makes a "special guest appearance" later.
And finally, some content -- even if it's just Colby sleeping while Bozo the Keith fetches wood. It's Day 40, and Bozo the Keith tells us it's the "home stretch," and that the last three days are what the game is all about. He says that everything else has been a "product to get to this point." Well, the product is usually the end point, but we know what he means -- and this is Bozo the Keith we're talking about. We should be happy he didn't break something, hit his head, or trip over his big floppy red clown shoes while saying it. Colby wakes up and tells Bozo the Keith he had a "solid" night's sleep for the first time since the game began. Colby then tells us in an interview that the environment and the elements have been a huge factor, and that they are the seventeenth player in the game. That would be seventeenth and eighteenth, but who's counting? Bozo the Keith and Colby calculate how much food is left. It looks like a lot to me. Colby says, "We're livin' on the edge in our rations." With a jar of peanut butter. Colby tells us that Day 40 is ten times harder than Day 21; he says they've each deteriorated but they still have to play the game, which has become about "surviving the people long enough to get in a position to win." As he says this, they show Bozo the Keith filling his water jug. Ominous music plays telling us we're supposed to find this menacing. I don't.