The Ocean's Surprise

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Joanna: C+ | Grade It Now!
Therein Lies the Grub

The members of Sook Jai feel good and full. Penny tells us they're experiencing their first real day off since they've been on the island. They plan to relax, lie in the sun, and play in the water. Robb flails and flops around while the others wade in the surf. The cameraman filming this is clearly distracted by Erin's ass, which no doubt is infinitely more interesting to him than further ridiculous Robb behavior. Jake tells us that the four of them -- he, Penny, Erin, and Robb -- were out in the water "goosin' around" and "just enjoyin' the aftereffects of a nice chicken" when they heard Robb scream. We see the footage from the preview in which Robb walks in the water and suddenly gets sucked underneath. He briefly emerges holding his heel and gets sucked back under again. It's funny enough to begin with, but even funnier when you realize that Jake, Penny, and Erin don't even look over at him despite the Jaws-esque commotion. Jake explains that shrieking and fussing and flailing around is standard Robb behavior, so they didn't think anything about it. In fact, they only reacted when they saw that "blood was kinda comin' out of his foot."

Robb drags himself to the beach and continues thrashing around while the others realize that they probably should acknowledge him; they slowly walk over. As he begs them to inspect his heel, he explains that a wave came and he kicked, and "when [his] foot went back, sumpin' came and bit [him]!" He wonders what in the ocean has a mouth big enough to bite his heel. Maybe an annoyed tribe member? The others stand around while Robb freaks out, as Jake voice-overs that they wondered what to do and just ended up sticking his foot in hot water to shut him up. Jake ministers to Robb's foot with the claim, "The hotter the better!" Boiling, preferably. In an interview shot from an unusual fish eye angle, Erin tells us they don't know what's out there, but that it could have been poisonous or "lethal for Robb." Hee. Because lethal for Robb is different from lethal for normal human beings. As we see a close-up of the heel, Jake points out that it has "a nice purple tinge around it!" Robb anxiously asks, "What's that mean?" and Jake responds that he doesn't know, as compared to the infinitely more entertaining "You have four to six hours to live."

Stompanie tells Robb that his heel is "contusing," and he grimaces and drops his head back onto the sand because he doesn't know that all that means is "bruising." Ken's hair is all Vanilla Ice at this particular moment, incidentally. Jake speculates in an interview that Robb was wading without shoes and pushed off a stingray. As Jake continues to inspect the foot, Robb whines, "It sorta hurts, Jake. It sorta hurts! Please don't touch it like that!" With both fists clenched to his chest, Robb twitches and yells, "Dammit, it fuckin' hurts!" In a nicely juxtaposed interview, Shii Devil scornfully says, "He's like a little baby, like, throwing a little tantrum -- 'Ow, it hurts!' -- throwing a little temper tantrum on the ground." As she says this, she raises her fists and bops around in an amusing, semi-accurate imitation of Robb. Robb says the sting is the most "annoying" thing he's ever seen in his life, and Shii Devil continues telling us that Robb should be a mature person. She deadpans, "Just, yeah, it hurts. Okay. Ouch." Shii Devil sits besides Robb in her nicely pressed lavender shirt and Banana Republic hat and states that sea urchin bites really hurt. In an interview, Robb tells us that Shii Devil is the tribe's "know-it-all expert" on every subject. He is outraged because Shii Devil admitted she'd never actually been stung by anything other than a jellyfish. It's not like she put down his pain, so I'm not sure why he's so angry. Isn't she validating his reaction by calling it "excruciating"? Anyway, in the interview, he screams, "Well, then, how the fuck would you know? Shut up and go get me some water!" He cracks himself up for no apparent reason. I don't know if I otherwise would have been predisposed to liking Shii Devil, but it's hard to take issue with someone as annoyed by Robb as I am. As the tribe continues to stare at Robb's antics, Penny tells us that they have to worry about sharks and snakes, so being aware of their surroundings is definitely key. I'm not entirely convinced that caution could have completely negated the chance of Robb stepping on a stingray, but I hate him, so, okay, it's entirely his fault.

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