Survivor
The Ocean's Surprise

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Therein Lies the Grub

More night-vision at Chuay Gahn. Clay says something that sounds an awful lot like "Helen, aren't you supposed to be have your ass up over singing?" Considering all the random expressions he's used so far, maybe that actually means something in Clay-speak. Who really knows? Ted suggests a Christmas song, and then Helen proudly launches into an ear-piercing operatic rendition of "Sleigh Ride." As she goes on and on, Ted joins in by clapping and punctuating the song with grunts. The others laugh and pretend it's because Ted is grunting, but really it's because Helen sucks. And man, she knows all the verses, too. At the end of one verse, Ted exclaims, "And for Clay...and for Clay -- yee haw!" Helen's singing grows faint as the camera pans over to reveal that Big Betsy -- Chuay Gahn's boat -- has come untethered and is floating away. Big Betsy's got the right idea. I don't blame her if she's got to listen to Helen's caterwauling every night. After all, tonight: "Sleigh Bells." Tomorrow night? "Oops! I Did It Again"? Ominous music rises over Helen's singing, but not loudly enough, because I can still hear her. Finally, she finishes, which Ted thinks is "beautiful" and "perfect." Helen exclaims that she's "singin' it in the middle of a hot summer night!" Big Betsy floats herself right out of earshot.

Ted is the first one up the next day. He's bleary-eyed and confused as he discovers Betsy's absence. He asks aloud, "Where's Betsy?" before groaning and sitting down, defeated. Brian stumbles out of the shelter and Ted says, "Betsy ran away." Brian woozily asks, "Who's that?" And either these guys are really deep sleepers, or they've been partaking of some serious haze-inducing indigenous Thai weed pointed out to them by the Red Berets. In an interview, Brian tells us that he had to think of who Big Betsy was before realizing "it's the big orange monster." Back with Ted, Brian opines, "The boat's gone. There must a reasonable explanation for all of this." Okay, Scully. Ted insists again that Betsy was securely tied. Suddenly Clay is there as well, stomping along the shoreline speculating that the tide must have "warshed" the boat way up the beach. Ted insists again that he tied it up, but admits that the tide might have washed it away. Clay thinks the tide should have just "floated the boat," instead of carrying it off.

As he, Brian, and Ted continue to search, Clay voice-overs that he doesn't know how they'll get water without Big Betsy. They also need it to catch fish, because they're getting "hungrier and hungrier for that meat!" As Ted tells Clay that the fishing net was lost with the boat, Clay walks away mumbling, "Boola, boola," and adding yet another expression to my growing vocabulary. Helen emerges next, and Brian smirkily reveals the situation to her. In an interview, she laments that the boat wasn't tied up well enough, but surprisingly resists throwing blame around. Jan seems to think the boat's loss is more amusing than anything else. Ted tells the others that when the tide rose, the twine might have slipped from the tether. As Jan tells him not even to think about it, Clay makes an incredulous face. In an interview, he complains that if he had tied up the boat, the others would have blamed him, but that no one said a word to Ted. He insists that it's definitely Ted's fault, though, because Ted should have tied it up on the bank. Suddenly, Magilla the monkey appears, and Ted pulls the old "Look, there's a monkey!" routine to distract the others from the missing boat. Magilla stares at the crazy people yelling at him, as Ted asks Magilla why he's always stealing their stuff when they never did anything to him. Hey! Maybe the grinding on Grindia as Magilla, too! But really, Magilla has plenty of reasons to hate the S12; they're on his beach, aren't they? And they're singing, no less! Ted tells us in an interview that the boat is a key element of their survival on the island. They'll do their best without it and "just, at this point, have to hope." We next see a shot of Old Betsy floating in a little cove, and then the camera zooms around the island to reveal the distance from boat to tribe. Old Betsy got far! It would have been pretty amusing if that boat had washed up on Sook Jai's beach.

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