Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 826 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Tempura Battered

With that, it's time to vote. We see Candace writing down Sierra's name. Sierra votes for Candace, saying she played a great physical game "but no one wants a snake in the grass." Then vote for Douche, Sierra. Candace wasn't trying to be sneaky; her downfall will be that she made her intentions too public. Douche goes off to vote with his coat over his shoulder like he's on the catwalk of a JC Penney fashion show. The editors cut to Probst, who has a perfect "what a douche" smirk on his face. Could it be any more obvious that everyone associated with this show hates Douche? I just hope the episode where he gets the boot is soon and satisfying.

Probst tallies the votes and asks if anyone wants to play the idol. Sierra is a moron, so she doesn't have it to play. She kind of deserves to get voted out just for that. How hard is it to walk ten paces towards a tree and dig??? Probst reads the votes. First vote is for Candace. Second vote is for Sierra. And then there's a second vote for Candace, who gets that "oh, shit, I've been screwed over" look on her face. A third vote for Candace is spelled "Candance." Heh. Looks like Jerry "Cantspell." Candace gets vote number four, and Douche smirks. Sierra smiles, too, but she's allowed to smile without seeming like an asshole because she has to be really relieved. Candace gets a fifth vote, and she's out. More smirks from Douche, who somehow manages to keep his tongue inside his mouth when Candace walks by him. Prost bids Candace adieu and congratulates Tempura on their awesome blindside. Is it really a blindside when it's a unanimous vote, though? The only person who was truly surprised was Candace. In her good-bye speech, she says she was an asset to Tempura and they'll regret getting rid of her. She's probably right. At the very least, whoever's face Douche licks now that Candace is gone will be sorry.

Sara Morrison has met only one soccer coach who is creepier than Douche. You can read more from her at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.

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Survivor

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