Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | Grade It Now!
Off To A Bad Start

After the commercial, Foa Foa has realized that they're out of water. They know they didn't empty their own canteens, so they figure that someone else drank their canteens. Li'l Russell smirks. Meanwhile, Jaison can't find his socks so now he has a blister. DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Li'l Russell truly is evil. He gave Jaison a blister. Even though it now appears to be daylight outside, we're still in night vision as Ben orders people around, saying they don't have much time and a lot to do, like fill their canteens. Marisa doesn't seem to appreciate being bossed around and rushed by Ben, saying that the boiling water is still too hot to put in their canteens right now anyway. Ben tells her to pour it into coconut husks so it'll cool faster and "use a little common sense." Li'l Russell takes all the credit for this argument even though it's pretty clear to me that Ben would get into an argument with Marisa no matter what they found to fight about. Li'l Russell says he's running "the whole show" right now and his tribemates don't even know it. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right. The producers and editors are rewarding his behavior by making him the center of this episode because they think we watch shows like this to see nasty little trolls with horrible personalities get ahead in life.

Immunity challenge! The tribes arrive and Probst asks Galu Russell how he likes his tribe. He thinks they're all the best people ever. Ben speaks up and says Russell is saying things that losers say. The women of Foa Foa giggle. Sigh. There isn't one contestant on this show I like. This is going to be a long season. Probst explains the challenge: six tribe members will race across a bunch of A-frames with coils of rope that they will then use to pull a heavy crate up and onto a platform where the other four tribe members will disassemble it to reveal planks with parts of words on them that they must arrange to that they read "without victory there is no survival." First tribe to do so wins the immunity idol, which is a diamond-shaped wood thing with a cool skull on it. If Li'l Russell truly wants to be a badass, he should break the idol. Probst's head would explode! It would be awesome. But since Li'l Russell isn't a real badass and needs to stay on the producers' good sides to get what he wants, he won't.

Probst calls go and the six-member teams are off! Galu (Russell, John, Yasmin, Erik, Dave Ball, and Brett) get an early lead over Foa Foa (Ben, Mick, Jaison, Li'l Russell, and two blonde women) after the first A-frame but then Russell and Yasmin have trouble on the second and slide down, which cannot be comfortable. You know the crew of this show didn't sand those things down properly and everyone is no doubt full of splinters that will turn into life-threatening infections requiring a medivac. Galu is still in the lead going into the third A-frame, where they try to form a human chain to get over. Probst announces this and says it's a great strategy, so of course Foa Foa copies it. Meanwhile, Jaison is wearing socks as he competes, so I guess Li'l Russell's plan didn't work so well after all. Or maybe they showed Jaison's socks being burned out of order. Galu gets to the crate first and start tying their ropes together. They have one rope formed by the time Foa Foa arrives at the crate. When they start pulling their crate, Li'l Russell pulls his heart out because apparently when he isn't sabotaging his own tribe he really wants them to win. How evil of him!

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