The Sole Surviving All-Star

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
The Triumph Of The Waif

Oh, and when recapping the very first episode, I said the following: "Elsewhere, as they gather logs, Boston Rob asks Amber if she wants to be in an alliance with him. It does not come with a ring." Thank you. Thank you very much.

Credits. You know, I don't even care who wins; Boston Rob smoked all these fools, and no amount of sniveling on their part is going to change it. So there. I feel better, don't you?

In night vision, a snake slithers around what's left of Chaboga Mogo on Night 36. The group has just returned from voting out Big Tom, and Jenna wonders, "What was that glare as he walked out?" She manages to say it without laughing, which is more than I could have done. Rupert gravely says that Big Tom hates all of them. Rob calmly stares out at the water as he notes that he's well aware that Big Tom lied right to his face repeatedly. Jenna calls the tribal council "honest and hurtful." She then does an interview in which she marvels at the fact that eighteen of the best players came out here, and now there are only four left, and one of them is her. "How'd that happen?" she wonders. If you open your windows, you can almost hear mutterings of agreement from living rooms everywhere. Back around the fire, Rupert picks up a pot and takes it down toward the creek, leaving Jenna to sit with Rob and Amber. Unsurprisingly, they waste no time in telling her that if Rupert doesn't win immunity in the next challenge, he's their target. Jenna has no chance to beat Rupert in a final vote anyway, they reason, so she'd be a lot better off going forward with the two of them. "You can take your own destiny in your own hands," says Rob. As did the reality-show contestants of Greek mythology, which is what made them heroes, as we all know. Jenna stares into the fire. Oh, what to do, what to do.

On the morning of Day 37, the group is still pulling itself out of its slumbers when a boat full of Jeff appears on the horizon. He lumbers up onto the beach and, assisted by Rupert, hauls a huge basket up to the group. Amber says that she feared that the challenge was somehow contained in the basket, but of course, when Jeff opens the basket, it's full of goodies. Because this is, if nothing else, the season of abundance. In this case, Jeff comes bearing eggs, bacon, pancake mix, and that sort of thing. I think the Panama Slam is on the menu right under the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity, by the way. (Sadly, I discovered while on an anthropological dig through TWoP's history of "Moons Over My Hammy" jokes, that I already made one, so I was stuck with IHOP. There are apparently a limited number of breakfasts that amuse me.) There is also champagne in the basket, of course, because as anyone who's been to a few Mother's Day brunches can tell you, there's nothing like mimosas to get the ball rolling, in terms of repressed anger. The happy tribe celebrates. Jeff also points out that the basket includes a scrapbook and a Polaroid camera that they can use to take pictures. Amber interviews that breakfast is actually her favorite meal, and as we watch her fellate a strawberry, she calls the meal "huge." The tribe toasts with mimosas. "Good luck, everybody," says Rob. He then interviews that the final four consists, of course, of two pairs of folks. "There's no chance myself and Amber are gonna break," he says. He goes on to speculate that Jenna, however, may decide to break from Rupert if the situation develops that way. Or, he says, "it may come down to a purple rock."

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