Survivor
The Sole Survivor

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Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
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Goodbye, Scuttling Crabs!

We don't see Kathy's or Tammy's votes.

Zoe picks up the pen and looks seductively at the camera in a disturbing way. She tells us she's going to be short and sweet because "'V' is not for victory tonight." She writes and says at the same time, "Neleh is the Survivor."

Tribal Trill. Peachy goes to tally, and the faces of the S2 blur with the fire. The jury just sits there and acts like they really give a damn at this point. Sean is either meditating or asleep. Then Peachy returns with the urn and snips that he knows it's been a long thirty-nine days, but they'll have to wait even longer, because the winner will be announced back in the States. Neleh looks surprised by this, but does not say, "You mean I don't get my money now?" The helicopter comes for Peachy, and Neleh watches it curiously while most likely thinking, "I've never seen a bird that big before." Peachy boards, buckles up, and takes off, leaving the S2 and the jury just sitting there, confused as to how they're going to get home. They then start hugging each other.

Dramatic music plays, and we get a shot of the ocean because we all know it took Just Peachy exactly five months in his helicopter to get from the Marquesas to New York City. We see the skyline, and then the helicopter, and then Peachy in the helicopter. The helicopter appears to fly directly at the Statue of Liberty -- a spot of filmic poor taste, if you ask me. They must have needed lots of security clearance for this. The helicopter then flies down Broadway and passes the Empire State Building all decked out in red, white, and blue. There's not a whole lot of traffic on the street below, surprisingly enough. Then we see a big "H," which may or may not stand for "helipad," and the big bird lands. Peachy has some trouble closing the helicopter door, and then hails a cab using his super-cool Just Peachy whistle. He lands a cab immediately and -- score! -- it even happens to have a TV camera in it. Peachy says "Central Park!" and the cab screeches off toward its destination. In Central Park, the audience watches Peachy's progress on a big screen and collectively thinks about what a big tool he is. The cab has a little evergreen air freshener in it.

Peachy -- who is well-versed in the art of taking cabs -- attempts to look cool and nonchalant in the back seat. This is juxtaposed with shots of the very excited audience waving buffs in Central Park. The cab finally arrives, and Peachy pays. He gets a few feet away and then returns to request his receipt. Whether planned or not (and my husband and I had a disagreement on this), it still makes him look like the big dork he is. He walks into the Park, and the urn still has little feet, and we see that he's in Central Park, and he's also on the screens in Central Park. The wonders of technology!

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Survivor

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