The Sounds Of Jungle Love

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
Get A Room

As you can imagine, Ozzy goes first for Malakal, with the obvious intent being to build a lead so intimidating that Airai will sink into a deep depression and will cry its way through the rest of the challenge. Jason goes first for Airai. And really, whatever illusions Jason may have about his own awesomeness, Ozzy smokes him good, pretty much from the opening bell. Ozzy skitters across the lily pads in a way that demonstrates that he is still himself, and Jason, of course, flops into the water. And then it's Ozzy swimming, and we all know how Ozzy swimming goes, so I hope you have a strong ego, there, Jason. Ozzy smoothly ascends the tower and smashes the key. Jason is admirably not too far behind him,'s still a right smoking. Ozzy comes back, and Ami goes out; she racks herself on the lily pads also. Honestly, that wasn't even fun; that just looked like it hurt. Alexis, for Airai? Hard to tell, but we don't see her fall. She may have made it across. Ami brings back the key, and Amanda heads out. FLOP! Chet goes out for Airai. FLOP! And when he goes to dive in the water a few steps later, he clearly isn't a swimmer, though he "can swim." Amanda heads back with her key, but Chet has had the misfortune of not really knowing where his key went into the water. I think this part is partly luck: if you don't see it, you don't see it, you know? But he's also not a strong enough swimmer to go down to the bottom and look. I kind of feel for Chet, because I'm not sure that a regular person, asked "Can you swim?," answers based on whether he or she could comfortably go to the bottom of a ten-foot body of water and hunt around for a key. Like, "I don't drown" and "I can get from one place to another" is the standard I think Chet was using, but of course, this just gets worse and worse as he flounders.

And Amanda's boob is blurred as she comes up the beach. Oh, Amanda.

After watching Chet bob around for a bit, Joel loudly orders him out of the water so that somebody else can go after the key. Parvati gets her tile broken, so now they're even further ahead. I'm convinced that what hurts Chet more than anything here is that, as he leaves the water in defeat, he's just ambling up the beach in no apparent hurry, and that is not going to do at all. I don't think it's going to matter, but DUDE. You've got to try. People won't necessarily boot you for being a poor swimmer, but they'll freak out if you're not trying. One of the few people to be seen making a full trip across the lily pads is Jonathan -- how about that! -- who is the last person for Malakal. Mikey B is next for Airai. Jonathan is doing great, until he, too, doesn't see where his key went. Uh-oh! Fortunately, Jonathan has the ability to go down and fetch it, so while Mikey B picks up some time, they still have a big lead as Erik heads out for Airai, especially since somebody still has to go and get Chet's key.

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