Survivor

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Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit...
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Tempura arrives back at camp following Jerry's ouster. Douche is leading the way, of course, although if he's at the front of the line, how can he tell the rest of the tribe what to do with his eyes? These are the tough choices facing our deities today. Douche opens with "it's a dark, sultry, sulky night." Does he know what any of the words he just said mean? People with ridiculously overinflated egos who don't get their way sulk. Nights don't. He interviews that he and Erinn got into an argument at Tribal Council because she thinks Brendan is a better leader than he is. "She doesn't know what she's talking about," he says, although I'll bet she knows what she's talking about better than to call a night both "sultry" and "sulky." Predictably, Douche decides that Erinn has to be voted out as soon as possible because she's "the cancer of the tribe." I thought Candace was the cancer of the tribe? And they voted her out, so I guess Tempura went into remission? But now they've had a recurrence? I hope it's terminal this time. Meanwhile, the editors clearly hate Erinn, as they keep showing a shot of her wiping her nose.

The next morning, it's time for a pow-wow concerning who should be Tempura's new leader. Debbie says she's fine with having a "general leader," as if anyone cares what she thinks. Brendan clearly doesn't want to be the leader, and says if anyone else wants to take the position, he's more than welcome to the role. Tyson interviews that he's not really sure what's going on or who the leader is, and doesn't really care. Shut up, Tyson. Douche speaks up and says that he'd love to be the leader, but is fine with Brendan taking on the role. So, more passive-aggressive bullshit from Douche. He then interviews that he'll be happy to take the leadership role from Brendan when he gets voted out, but at the same time he doesn't want Brendan to be voted out because "iron sharpens iron." Also because Brendan isn't a woman who disagrees with him. And is Douche wearing referee socks right now? Weirdo. Erinn futilely tries to make nice with Douche, saying she's sure he'd make a great leader, too. Douche then interviews that he's the only person out here with real outdoors experience, and under Brendan's leadership, Tempura is not thriving but merely "existing." Douche then says that he looks stronger than Brendan. He must be too busy directing people with his eyes to actually see out of them, because that's a big no way. Douche again says that he's "been there" with regards to the outdoors, so he is a better leader. Except that every time he steps outside, it seems, he gets bitten by something. I wouldn't want that kind of leader.

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Survivor

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