Survivor

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit...

As Probst announces who will be bearing the weight for their tribes, I fully expect to see Douche standing on a podium proudly, since he is the strongest person on his tribe in his own mind. And yet, no. It's Brendan, Tyson, and freaking Debbie. Debbie! Ha! See, Douche? This is why you should actually keep the physical strengths in your tribe and not just say you want to while voting Candace out. She would have been a much better person to have in this challenge than a forty-something high school principal who probably weighs less than one sandbag. Joe, Taj, and J.T. will carry the weight for Jalapeño. Master strategists Sydney and Sandy will be choosing who gets what weight for them, while Erinn and Douche will do the honors for Tempura, despite that fact that Douche said he was too true to even stand near her. Joe and Brendan get weight first, followed by J.T. and Tyson. Then Brendan and Taj. And then a bunch of editing to bring us to Brendan with 180 pounds, J.T. with 160, Tyson at 120, Joe at 140, and Taj and Debbie with 80. I have to admit, I'm impressed with Debbie. I thought she'd be out at 40. For the next round, Brendan and J.T. get more weight, and Brendan shows us his abs under the strain. Probst says the record for weight in this challenge is 220, set by Rupert. Any chance to say his name, eh, Probst? J.T. and Brendan get more weight for the next round, and Brendan is clearly not enjoying this. As soon as Douche and Erinn put the bags on, he's out. Stupid Sydney and Sandy are so distracted by Brendan dropping out that they mis-time putting the weights on J.T.'s bar and he almost drops it because of that. For the next round, Tyson and J.T. get the weight. J.T. looks pretty solid with his 220 pounds, while Tyson is clearly struggling with his measly 140. And, in fact, he drops out. So now it's all three Jalapeño members against Debbie. LOL.

Oh, but then J.T. drops out. That's okay, though. They still have big, strong Joe. Oh wait -- he drops out, too. Wuss. He grabs his shoulder in pain and stuff, but still. Wuss. Probst is thrilled to see that the challenge might actually be close and orders the tribes to add more weight to the ladies. At 100, they both look like they're struggling, and worringly, Taj looks close to giving up. But then, before Douche and Erinn can add the next 20 pounds, the bar slides off of Debbie's back and she's out. Taj is a hero! J.T. is still clearly in pain! Debbie cries on the ground. Taj is kind in victory and runs over to congratulate her on basically carrying more than her own weight. Hugs! Joe tells J.T. that he was "all heart," which means that Joe was "half heart," no? Not to mention a bore. Probst asks Jalapeño who they're sending to Exile, and, according to plan, Taj picks Sierra. "I'm taking you!" Sierra immediately says back. "Oh, you WITCH!" Taj says, surprised. Stephen wonders if he's stumbled ass-backwards out of his alliance. Brendan reminds us that he didn't get a chance to talk to Sierra before the challenge because he's an idiot, so he's glad that she picked Taj and hopes Taj will clue her in. With that, Probst sends the tribes away, saying the two members of Jalapeño will be stopping by Camp Tempura to do a little "shopping." Except that it'll be like shopping in Circuit City two minutes before closing time. Slim pickings. Douche provides the post-challenge wrap-up, saying he's worried that Jalapeño will take their food supply "and then we'll go downhill." Newsflash, Douche: the only way you can go more downhill than you already have is if there's a Marianas Trench in Metaphor Land.

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Survivor

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