Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit...

Sydney, on the other hand, waves her boobs and ass around to get her tribemates' attention. As Sandy watches, she walks over to Joe and Spencer, who greet her with "what's up, hot stuff?" and "what's up, hottest Survivor chick this season?" They must really respect her. Sandy interviews that she wants Sydney to go home next because she's using her body to get ahead. Sydney says she thinks Sierra might be the hottest girl on the show instead of her. "She's kind of angry," Spencer says. Ha! She does frown all the time, doesn't she? I would too if I had to be on a tribe with Douche. And if I wasn't frowning, it would only be because I had torn my head off and eaten it in desperation. Sandy continues that Sydney wears the guys' boxer shorts (ew) and doesn't sleep in her bra (not a federal offense -- I don't care what those Playtex 18-hour bra commercials say, that shit is not comfortable at night). We then see Sydney giving J.T. a shoulder massage that doesn't look all that comfortable. Sandy says Sydney's plan seems to be working, since although the guys can probably see through her flirting, they still "like the package." And then Sandy flashes a smile that makes me think that she was probably a nice package when she was Sydney's age, too. Then she says Sydney will have to take off more than her bra to stay in this game and sticks her tongue out as she laughs like she's in a For Better or For Worse comic or something and I change my mind. "If I can't outwit her with the body I'll outwit her with the brain," Sandy says. Has she forgotten already that she doesn't know what a pace is? Let's hope she's counting on someone else's brain.

Taj and Sierra arrive at Exile Sand Dune. Taj picks the clue urn for the second time in a row and reads it. It basically tells her that the idol is in the treemail statue. I guess by the third clue, the writers got sick of beating around the bush. Taj asks Sierra if Brendan had a chance to talk to her when he got back to camp, and Sierra says he did not. "Hmm," Taj says; "okay." Yes, Taj, your alliance-mate is kind of dumb. Bummer. Taj figures out that she should tell Sierra about the plan herself and hope Sierra believes her. She does this by basically informing Sierra that she's the lucky winner of a four-way super-secret alliance. "I just got goosebumps," Sierra says. She interviews that she chose the right alliance mate in Brendan, and now she's going to reap the rewards. "I'm at the top, baby!" she says, laughing. That's like the first time Sierra has smiled since the game began. See what being away from Douche can do for you? Taj dubs the alliance "Team Secret."

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