The Twist

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When a Woman Has a Trouble With Her Butt...

Last week on Survivor, Silas had really white teeth. Linda may have been spirited right out of Africa, but Oldskool got in a last hurrah: three votes against Silas. Meanwhile, Boran received the ultimate compliment from the editors: happy music.

We open with a shot of the fake full moon superimposed over African sky. Because nature can always be digitally improved upon. Samburu creeps back from Tribal Council. Playskool is pissed that Oldskool did not blindly follow its plan for world domination. Insert cackling here. Silas wants to know what Oldskool's logic was in voting for him as opposed to Lindsey as was mandated by Playskool. He says it's an earnest question, but his delivery suggest otherwise, like "logic" should be in quotes. As in, "What was your 'logic' in voting that way?" And about the quotes thing -- one of my biggest pet peeves -- what's with the obsessive and inaccurate use of quotation marks anyway? At my gym, there's a sign in the stall that reads: "FEED A FAMILY AT THANKSGIVING: 'COLLECTION BASKET AT FRONT DESK.'" Is this a so-called collection basket? Is there some sort of irony to its existence? Or maybe this is the food drive's motto? To make matters worse, the phrase in quotation marks was written in a different, flowery handwriting from the rest of the message. Finger quoting in text is apparently beyond the grasp of the average mind. In any case, Lindsey whines to Teresa, "You're punishing us because we wouldn't tell you." I can't even begin to understand why they thought Oldskool would so easily roll over and do whatever a bunch of whiney twenty-three-year-olds dictated. Teresa tries to explain that the three members of Oldskool decided to maintain their alliance until the end; in response, Lindsey gives her major hand. Silas cuts into this argument to enlighten the others once again by explaining what "the deal" is. He says, "It'll come out like this, and then they'll speak it." And if you build it, they will come. Really, what does that mean? I feel like I need a cryptographer to decode what these people are saying. Teresa tries to explain why, as "low men on the totem pole," Oldskool resented being told what to do by Playskool. Silas cuts Teresa off and agrees that Oldskool's act was a "power trip," but that's not at all what Teresa said. Teresa tries again to explain Oldskool's side and Silas concludes, "Okay, so it's revenge." This is really where Teresa should have walked away from this argument. It's the equivalent of fighting with a two-year-old over how best to ladle cupcake batter into the Easy-Bake Oven. Silas then decrees that revenge is okay and says, "You wanted to use the power over [sic] to screw us for the game. I understand that." During this discussion, Kimp looks bothered.

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