Survivor
The Twist

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When a Woman Has a Trouble With Her Butt...

We then see Lindsey make a desperate attempt for attention as she proclaims, "I got me a tick on my ass!" It's really on her hip, but its removal still entails her thrusting her butt in the face of all of her heterosexual male team members. Seriously, where are her bead buddies Kimp and Brandon during this medical emergency? Tom and Lex run over to help, but the others are nowhere to be found. Lex pours hot water on the tick and Lindsey makes a constipated face as she complains that the water is hot. Brandon makes an appearance and looks away. Tom tells us, "Lindsey had a tick on her butt and -- tell you the truth -- when a woman has a trouble with her butt, I tell her that was just what I was made for." He then adds, "It was one of the nicest jobs I've had to do here so far." I'm sorry, but hee. Really, hee. Lindsey commences with the squealing and the moaning while Lex pulls on the nasty bug which appears to enjoy Lindsey's butt as much as Tom does. I don't think the Survivor editors like Lindsey very much, because there are excessive and unflattering butt shots here. Finally, Lex manages to pull out the whole tick and Tom takes the opportunity to slap her on the ass. In a confessional, he calls the experience "a refreshing reward."

It's challenge time, and if the tribes got a clue, I missed it. Thank God. Peachy revels in "getting [his] first look" at the new tribes. He points out that there's not a lot of talking now on Boranew and Sambutwo, but there wasn't much talking before, either. He points out one big cage with forty goats in it. Twenty are wearing red and twenty are wearing gold. The goats in gold are stylin'. Even they know platinum is so over. The tribes must catch all of their appropriately colored goats and put them in a pen. Each tribe gets one goatkeeper; that person stays in the tribe's pen and works the gate to make sure the right goats get in, and keep the wrong goats out. The prize is a few chickens and one rooster. Peachy tells the S12 that the winning tribe might keep the livestock for eggs, but "on the other hand, they may attract predators at night." Brandon and Teresa are the gate keepers, and Brandon must be completely unathletically inclined -- he's always either sitting out the challenge, or assuming the least physical role. And last episode he got outrun by Tom.

It's chaos as the challenge ensues and the goats all desperately try to get away from these reprehensible people. Tom flaps his arms at the goat. You'd think he'd know how to handle them from his farm training, but maybe the eleven other people running around and shouting are a huge distraction. Kelly and Frank push on each other. After getting nothing accomplished, Silas picks up one of the goats, which seems much easier than the running and the flapping and the grabbing and the no progress. Clarence also picks up a goat, and then all the competitors all start picking up goats. Fun music plays. Because picking up goats is FUN! Brandon looks bored with gatekeeping. We see Ethan making a cute smiley face as he runs with a goat. It's like Dances with Wolves except it's Runs with Goats. I like Ethan despite his tendency toward the paranoia; I like him even more here because his expression acknowledges the ridiculousness of his current situation. As the race nears the end, it's very close. Kimj's even carrying a goat, but it's just a baby. Clarence ups the ante by picking up two goats at once. They're both smushed together and their limbs are all willy-nilly -- it looks very uncomfortable for them. Clarence yells for Teresa to open up the gate. I'm not sure what's going on there, but he's very upset about the gate. Boranew wins the challenge despite gate issues. Sambutwo is pissed off at themselves. Peachy makes like it will be difficult for the winning tribe to return to their camp with the poultry booty, and Kimj responds, "If we can carry these goats, we can carry those chickens." Just make sure it's a baby chicken.

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Survivor

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