Tom uncorks a bottle of champagne, drinks the whole thing, throws up, passes out, and is airlifted to the Betty Ford Center. Not really. He does open the champagne, and Ian tells everyone to put up their Koror claws. Which are at this point officially the least welcome rallying cry since the tomahawk chop, with the claws' only advantage being: no Jane Fonda. They all break eggs into a pan as Tom explains that, normally, the game requires you to earn everything you get -- like your luxury accommodations with private bath, fluffy robe, and in-room dirty movies -- so to have something just show up for free was a great treat. Tom says that, back in the firehouse, this would be called an "atta-boy." They cut up and eat pineapple. I do like fresh pineapple a lot. "I love final four!" Katie says goofily in that voice that sometimes makes me try to like her in a sort of abortive way. It never lasts. Katie says that this was a great time for the group just to hang around and have a good time together before beginning the all-out, soul-crushing, friendship-risking, ugliness-embracing assault that this two-hour finale will become.
Tom throws a bucket of water to clean the table, which is a metaphor for how Tom washed the table of the game with the bucket of his awesomeness, and the water of his victories washed over others, bringing to them the refreshing hydration of his capable, manly presence. I think. Then, we are sitting around with Katie, Ian, and A-Jenn. A-Jenn quietly remarks to Katie and Ian that it's all about immunity now, and says, "If one of us wins it, we're all good, right?" A-Jenn then explains that if any of the rest of them manages to win immunity, they're going to boot Tom. In the shelter, A-Jenn asks Ian if he's sure, and Ian says he is. He tells her that, at F4, it's "game on" as far as he's concerned. It is at this point that I realize he is sort of skinny for "game on," and I have my doubts. Ian interviews that if he manages to beat Tom today and Tom doesn't have immunity, "Tom goes home." But if Tom wins the challenge, Tom will be "[Ian's] best friend again." Oh, Ian. Playing the game. Trying to win. How do you live with yourself?
The tribe heads out for a challenge, and when they get there, they find a yellow Chevrolet SSR. They all climb in and get very excited, although I think Tom is thinking that the guys at the fire station might actually find this particular morsel of lemony goodness to be just a little bit girly to park near the big ladders. Jeff removes some of the pressure when he breaks it to the group that this car is not for the winner of the challenge. It's for the winner of Survivor, but by contractual agreement between Chevrolet and the Mark Burnett Accounting Firm And Alligator Wrestling Company, they have to display it during the show. (Just guessing.) Jeff tells them to peek in the glove box for another tasty tempting morsel, and they do, and it's a phony million-dollar check. Just think! It could be a real million-dollar check! Oh, how I love filler. It takes up so little recap space. Well, not when I keep calling it out as filler. Then it just goes on and on and -- GAH!