The Ultimate Shock

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+

And...Ian. He says he's going to ask them the same question. And it's this: "What's the biggest reason that we as a group shouldn't give you a million dollars?" Katie answers that if they didn't care for her "personality" or "sense of humor" -- which she was under the impression people "got a kick out of" (insert Coby making a face, as if he has any room to talk on this point at all) -- then that would be a reason. Tom answers that he's "already had [his] payday." Tom says that he's had a great experience with them, so he's already had a wonderful time, blah blah. He is a very smooth operator, I'll tell you that.

And now, closing statements. Tom says that this was him, "good or bad," and he stuck with who he said he would. He even manages to throw a little more mud at Ian, who already fucking quit the game for Tom's ungrateful ass, saying how he stuck with people "at folly" and, as a result of that, "hurt some other people." Of course, Ian was telling Tom the truth about those things, so...whatever, Tom. Anyway, Tom apologizes for those hurts, while blaming others for them, and says he's willing to be judged however they want, and that there are no hard feelings in any event.

Katie says that she's sorry if she hurt people, and wants to say that first. She says that Tom was the biggest competition coming in, and that's why she aligned with him and with Ian. She asks them to consider that she got here in spite of having basically nothing to work with going up against Tom. Which is...kind of a good point, in a strange way. It's one thing to get to F2 as Tom with a billion immunities -- it's another to get here as Katie when you can't run very fast and get tired easily. She says she had a plan, she executed it, and she's leaving with her self-respect.

Time to vote. Jeff reminds them that they're supposed to vote for someone, not against anyone. Steph votes first. Janu votes for Tom, saying it's because she had this "incredible experience" because Tom chose her on the first day. Gregg votes. Caryn votes. Coby votes for Katie, saying he got more "honesty" from Katie. A-Jenn votes. Ian votes. Jeff thanks the jury for their work, and he goes and gets the votes. He tells them that, of course, there will be no vote-reading now, only later. He leaves.

For some reason, we are spared the absurd Where In The World Is Jeff Probst business where he whizzes across the ocean on a waterproof moped or something, and he just plain walks into the studio in New York where the live finale will take place. I kind of feel robbed. He steps up to the podium. Everyone cheers. "Let's get to it," he says. If the audience doesn't shut up, though, it won't happen. Tom and Katie are both waiting patiently to hear. Winner gets a million bucks! And a car! And let's freaking get going, dude. Takes four votes to win.

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