The Ultimate Shock

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+

Tom throws a bucket of water to clean the table, which is a metaphor for how Tom washed the table of the game with the bucket of his awesomeness, and the water of his victories washed over others, bringing to them the refreshing hydration of his capable, manly presence. I think. Then, we are sitting around with Katie, Ian, and A-Jenn. A-Jenn quietly remarks to Katie and Ian that it's all about immunity now, and says, "If one of us wins it, we're all good, right?" A-Jenn then explains that if any of the rest of them manages to win immunity, they're going to boot Tom. In the shelter, A-Jenn asks Ian if he's sure, and Ian says he is. He tells her that, at F4, it's "game on" as far as he's concerned. It is at this point that I realize he is sort of skinny for "game on," and I have my doubts. Ian interviews that if he manages to beat Tom today and Tom doesn't have immunity, "Tom goes home." But if Tom wins the challenge, Tom will be "[Ian's] best friend again." Oh, Ian. Playing the game. Trying to win. How do you live with yourself?

The tribe heads out for a challenge, and when they get there, they find a yellow Chevrolet SSR. They all climb in and get very excited, although I think Tom is thinking that the guys at the fire station might actually find this particular morsel of lemony goodness to be just a little bit girly to park near the big ladders. Jeff removes some of the pressure when he breaks it to the group that this car is not for the winner of the challenge. It's for the winner of Survivor, but by contractual agreement between Chevrolet and the Mark Burnett Accounting Firm And Alligator Wrestling Company, they have to display it during the show. (Just guessing.) Jeff tells them to peek in the glove box for another tasty tempting morsel, and they do, and it's a phony million-dollar check. Just think! It could be a real million-dollar check! Oh, how I love filler. It takes up so little recap space. Well, not when I keep calling it out as filler. Then it just goes on and on and -- GAH!

Anyway. Toy check! Jeff tells them that one of them is going to make a million bucks here, and then he tells them that their next step to the million is this challenge here. He takes the immunity necklace back from Tom. In today's challenge, which is another really obnoxious one to explain, it starts with a crawl through a bunch of tires, where they'll have to stop at each tire and untie a set of keys. When you get to the end, you release yourself from the rope and use the keys to unlock some padlocks at the bottom of a tower and move a few bars that let you open a hatch in the roof and climb up another level. Then, you untie some ropes that will let you move up another level. Then you get a grappling hook, which you toss to retrieve four ladder rungs. Get all your ladder rungs, then you build a ladder and climb to the top and raise your flag. The first two to get their flags up move on to the finals. In the finals, you take a flying fox down to the water and get a bag. In the bag are three numbers, and you use those numbers as the combination -- in some order -- to a padlock. Open the lock, get out another flag, raise it, and you win. It's a bazillion-step challenge that mostly comes down to Do Stuff, so you know who it'll come down to, right? Right?

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