Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: A | 553 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
No One Told Me There'd Be Bean Salad!

Now the Whimsical Music of the Elderly and Half-Witted plays as we join the Maraanu camp. Paschal tells us that the situation is more casual at Maraanu because of the availability of food. He admits that they're no physical match for Rotwo, and that they know that. They'd be morons not to know that, but I'm not 100\% convinced that at least one member of this tribe is not one.

The members of Maraanu now creep around after crabs. Kathy finds one and exclaims, "Holy Mother McGrady, look at this dude!" A giant crab is trapped under a log with Gina on one side and Kathy on the other. I'd definitely head out Gina's way, but this is a crab we're dealing with, and like to like, so who knows? In any case, they take turns swatting at the crab from both sides, while it swats back. I have no idea why they don't use a sturdy stick to drag the crab out, instead of putting their fingers at risk. Kathy tells us in a confessional that she was "always concerned" that being "this small little band of women and one older gentleman" was a losing situation. Now that she's among the group, though, she knows it's about spirit, energy, and desire.

Vaudevillian music plays as the members of Maraanu continue attempting to catch crabs. (Tee. Hee.) No doubt Mark Burnett is at the other end of a ten-foot piece of string, and giving it a sharp tug every time Kathy or Paschal gets too close to a crab. Paschal talks nicely to the crabs and says things like "golly," while Kathy commits mental and physical abuse as she swats at them and calls them "booger[s]" and "boogerhead[s]." Paschal's nasty side finally comes out when he yells, "You sorry son of a gun, you!" to a crab that's clawed him. We learn that it pinched him badly, and then we see the dismembered arm of a crab with kung fu death grip on a branch. Paschal, incidentally, could use some bigger shorts. He's showing more leg than the women. Not that that's a complaint in all cases. In a confessional, Kathy tells us that they didn't eat well at Rotu because they had more tribe members and less food. She says they didn't eat breakfast or lunch -- only dinner. As Kathy and Paschal relax side by side, we see a crab very slowly attempting to escape from its basket. It's cautiously creeping sideways and then makes a quick break for it, but Kathy's too quick and catches it again. We learn that particular crab's fate -- along with the fate of a whole mess of its comrades -- lies in a pot of boiling water. The upside? The crabs can no longer hear Kathy's cackling and guffawing through the walls of the iron pot.

Survivor

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