Survivor
The Underdogs

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No One Told Me There'd Be Bean Salad!

John tells us in a confessional that it wasn't that big a deal to him to lose the challenge, which directly contradicts what he said earlier. While smashing coconuts with Sean, he voice-overs that the reward was just a meal, and that he avoided apologizing for the loss: "I am in a leadership position, and I'm not gonna apologize because we lost." John tells Sean that the four members of Maraanu are going to be "crappin' their brains out" and "sick as dogs." He says that the food looked great, but that cucumbers, green peppers, and beans are "high, high gas foods," and they would "bloat up in a second." Not a visual I particularly needed. As the tribe eats their squiggly food, John announces that he wouldn't have touched the reward food because "two hours of yum-yum" is not worth three days of "shitting [their] brains out." ["Yeah, I'll just bet that if Rotwo had won, they'd have declined to eat it for health reasons. Whatever, John." -- Wing Chun] And it keeps right on getting prettier. Robert says that a "wonderful meal don't mean nothing," and Tammy adds that they have twenty-six days left and didn't go out there to eat fried chicken and quiche. They all agree as she says they're there to play and win the game, and that's what they're going to do. Well, technically only one of them is going to do that. In any case, Sean calls them "The Tony Robbins crew" for their positive thinking skills.

In a confessional, Sean tells us that even though it's the same food every day, they keep convincing themselves it's something new, and credits that to "us[ing] your imagination." John brags about the way he cooked the meal: he cooked the seafood first, then poured off the juice and kept "some little white pieces" before adding the coconut. I don't want to know what the "little white pieces" were if they weren't actually the coconut. Sean makes a hysterical and most likely unintentional series of faces as he eats; he's rolling his eyes, twitching, and semi-gagging. Tammy tells us it's not that bad, but it's not fried chicken, either. Which is why Kentucky Fried Chicken has lasted all these years, and why Marquesas Pan Cooked Snail never got very far. Zoe compliments John on the "great recipe," and Robert calls the meal "delightful," which may or may not be sarcastic. Sean -- who is off by himself chewing and chewing and chewing -- tells us, "I still say the chicken would have been the bomb." He then says what may be one of my favorite lines of the season so far: that John said they would "crap their pants," after the reward challenge feast, but "what else we got out here, but nature and opportunity?" It was worth keeping Sean around just to hear him say that. Not really, though.

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Survivor

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