Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 706 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
It is Finished

A cheesy flag wipe takes us to the end of the second fifteen minutes. The contestants move down to the last foothold, and Erinn can't make it. She drops and goes to the bench. Everyone starts to look pained as Probst says this challenge is all mental. It wasn't for Erinn, though. She physically slipped and fell. Stephen is the next to go, no doubt weighed down by all that meat. Taj follows him down, but that's okay because she has the hidden immunity idol so she'll be fine. I think this is the last time she can use it, right? I would've been out of that challenge before it even started if I was her. Annoyingly, Douche is still up there. That means it's up to J.T. to win it. Again. "The listener and the talker. The young buck, the older warrior," Probst says. He can't call Douche "old," because Probst is older than he is. J.T. asks Probst if he has any food to bribe him down with. J.T., what the fuck is that? You just had lots of food. Why are you so greedy? It's not like you don't have ample amounts of fat stored up in that belly of yours to burn. Douche tells J.T. to go ahead and step down unless he needs to win to vote Douche out tonight. J.T. can't believe that Douche doesn't trust him. "I trust you implicitly, J.T. You know that," Douche says. Probst says this match up is exactly what Douche claimed he wanted: a battle of the warriors.

Fifty minutes into the challenge, both men are looking pained. J.T. asks if Douche doesn't want to just quit. Douche, who we see is wearing toe rings, which stopped being popular around the time SWV left the charts, says he has "something to prove." "Don't hurt your back anymore," Taj says. And as soon as she mentions his back, Douche sees his out and starts screaming in fake pain, despite those lung issues he claims he has. The music swells to ridiculous levels. Douche falls, and Taj and Erinn try not to look really happy about this. In fact, Taj looks genuinely impressed with how long Douche stayed up there. Probst pronounces J.T. the winner, and then Douche collapses on the ground and curls up in a fetal position. Stephen falls for it, running towards Douche with a concerned "oh my god, man!" Everyone has to gather around Douche, who sobs about his back. And now they all have to help Douche stand up. Except for Erinn, of course. Douche crawls to the bench, and Probst asks if he's okay. Douche weakly wheezes that his back was spasming for the last ten minutes of the challenge. "I felt something go," Douche whines. Yes, I'm sure your back broke. Whatever. Probst asks if Douche wants the doctor to check it out. Douche refuses, of course, since there's nothing actually wrong with him. His take on it, though, is that his back is so bad that medical would immediately order him to leave the game, and since he wants to stay in this game, he begs Probst not to send him to medical. Taj's sympathy just flew out the window, as we see from the look on her face. With that, Probst gives immunity to J.T. and tells everyone to leave. On the way out, Douche asks J.T. if he could've gone a lot longer on the challenge. "Yeah," J.T. says. "I figured that," Douche says. Then he leans on J.T. and his dragon cane to walk back to camp while Stephen gives the post-challenge wrap-up that Douche appeared to really be suffering and he felt bad for him. But he still thinks Douche is a strong competitor, and that's not someone he wants to go to the end with. Way to go, Douche: your only chance to stay in this game was to perform so poorly in both the reward and immunity challenges that everyone would have considered you to be a non-threat and kept you around. Instead, you managed to beat everyone except J.T. and finally, with the physical powerhouse that was Debbie gone, become a target.

Survivor

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