Survivor

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Former Federal Stepchild?

Onomatopoeia arrive at their reward picnic. They're on some cliff overlooking a bay with a giant Jesus statue on top, which is apparently something that happens a lot in the Americas. This is the second-largest Jesus statue in the world, behind that one in Brazil. You guys, Matt is so sad he missed out on this. He's the only one who would have given a shit about the Jesus statue, as the rest of the tribe only has eyes for the food. In fact, Rob has to ask who the statue is supposed to be. "That's Jesus, for sure," Grant says. "Jeessssssuuuusss!" Ashley screams. But Rob is thinking about a different idol -- the immunity idol! Specifically, the clue to it that he expects to be on the table somewhere. Sure enough, it's sitting under a bowl, but Rob doesn't think he'll be able to get it without anyone seeing him and would rather not risk that for a clue to an idol he already found.

Grant soon sees the clue as well, and grabs it. "Let's check out the view," Rob says to him, and they leave the table together. But Phillip used to be a federal agent? and is wise to their schemes. As they read the clue, Phillip walks up and asks what they're looking at. Rob and Grant could not look more busted. They show him the clue. Phillip mutterviews that he thought he was in a secret alliance with Rob and Grant, which he even gave a name: "Stealth R Us." "I am the specialist. Rob is the mentalist. And Grant is the assassin," he explains without really explaining anything. Like, how is Grant supposed to assassinate anyone? You can't do that in this game. And what does Phillip specialize in? And do Rob and Grant even know about any of this? I suspect they don't. Phillip is not pleased that his alliance tried to hide the clue from him, saying "hell hath no fury like a lion (shows off the tattoo) or a gorilla (shows off the other tattoo) when he thinks he's been provoked." And then Phillip remembers that he's pretending to be an insane man who thinks he used to be a federal agent and says integrity is crucial to him, as he served his country for "four years, eleven months, thirteen days for duty, honor, country." And by not telling him about the idol clue, Phillip says, Rob and Grant are somehow trashing the entire United States. But he won't act against them yet, saying he's planning on smiling and waiting for the time to come when he can "kick a little ass around here." He has been promising this ass-kicking for weeks now. I'm losing hope.

Zapato return to camp, defeated. David says he's doing his best to ensure that Stephanie stays and Sarita, who he says is more the "team mom" than a member of the team, goes. Mike tells his tribe that they "just weren't meant to win" the challenge, and it was "an ass-whopping." David suddenly turns to Steve and says the most important thing they can do for their tribe is ensure that "the best six" are there to hopefully win the rest of the challenges. Sarita isn't blind to any of this, and interviews that she's pretty sure David and Stephanie are scrambling to keep Stephanie in and take Sarita out. She says she's not going to "go around campaigning" on her own behalf, instead trusting that her tribe knows how loyal she is and how important that will be to them. Normally, I would say that's a stupid argument, but knowing that Stephanie is probably still planning on flipping to Onomatopoeia the first chance she gets, it's actually a good one.

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Survivor

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