Then There Were Five

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Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
God's Will

So Albert somehow gets Brandon alone to talk to him. I feel like these people did not learn about Boston Rob's buddy system and take it to heart. It works! Don't let people go off in pairs! They get ideas! Anyway, Albert's argument is that Rick was mean and called him Princess Albert, so Albert would NEVER take him to the finals. Brandon doesn't say much, so Albert starts playing the Christian angle and says that he feels like Brandon's heart is closed and unforgiving right now. That's a good angle. Brandon interviews that he's not perfect, and he has to forgive Albert. So now Albert's tactic is that his bond with Brandon is stronger than any other one. Brandon interviews that everyone has lied in this game, even him. So Albert keeps talking and finally Brandon just says, "I'm not voting for you. I've made up my mind." Did he just want Albert to stop talking? Because I kind of did.

AND THEN! Brandon says the dumbest thing he's ever said, and that's saying a lot. He tells Albert, "If I have to, I'll give you my immunity necklace." The look on Albert's face is a mix of shocked, dumbfounded, and glee. I thought Albert might burst out laughing because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Brandon interviews that he knows Coach and Albert won't vote for him, so he thinks he'll be safe. Brandon goes to talk to Coach about it. Brandon explains that God speaks to him and apparently told him to forgive Albert and keep him, even if it means giving up his necklace. Brandon lays on the guilt trip by saying that he knows Coach would never vote against him or do anything that might lead to Brandon getting voted out.

Coach interviews that it seemed black and white before -- Albert lied to everyone, so he should go. But then Brandon had to bring up forgiveness, and now Coach is very confused. Hey, let me tell them all what God wants. God wants you all to shut up because he doesn't give a shit about this stupid game. It is NOT possible to win this game and follow Christian tenets, because it's a competition, dumbos. You could make a case why it's not Christian to get rid of any one of those people. I guess the only Christian thing to do would be to volunteer to be voted out first? I don't know. I'm no theologian. I just know a lot of really smart Christians, and these people are making Christians look dumb. Brandon reiterates that this is what God wants them to do, to get rid of Sophie. Coach says that's what God wants Brandon to do, but might not be what he wants Coach to do. So Coach is going to pray on it. Brandon is sure that God doesn't want Coach to write his name down. Isn't it interesting how God always wants people to do what's in their own self-interest? A more cynical person might conclude that it's not God speaking to them at all. So Coach does this bizarre yoga pose/praying posture and prays REAL HARD and claims that he got an answer very clearly. This is such a weird season.

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