Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Sierra A-Leone

Immunity challenge! It's raining all over Probst's jet-black dye job as the contestants enter the playing field. Erinn returns to everyone's applause. Douche tries to hug her, but she walks right on past him to hug Stephen, who apologizes profusely for sending her to Exile. Then J.T. pats her on the arm, just to hammer in whose side Erinn is on right now, not like Douche or Debbie are smart enough to notice. Stephen whips out a nice, dry, sweater for her to wear, which is such a great idea. I don't see how he can't win this game. He's the only intelligent person playing.

Probst takes back the immunity necklace and explains the challenge: each contestant will get a grappling hook he must use to retrieve three bags across a pit of sand. The first three contestants to grab their bags move onto the second round, which is one of those big maze boards with a ball you have to maneuver around to get it to the finish without falling through any holes. The most important thing to know about this challenge is that it involves a grappling hook, which I'm sure Douche has plenty of experience with considering all his time watching episodes of Mission: Impossible and then believing that he lived through them.

The first round begins. J.T. is the first person to get a bag back, followed, much to her surprise, by Taj, who gives up a boob shot in all the exertion. Soon, all the contestants have managed to get one bag each except for Erinn, who blames her poor performance on being at Exile. Tragically, Douche leaps ahead by getting his second bag as a thunderstorm rolls in. I'm sure everyone is happy to be swinging metal objects over their heads right about now. No doubt Douche is especially concerned, seeing as he believes he's been struck by lightning three times in his life. Once when he was climbing Mount Everest in record time, once when he was beating Tiger Woods in a golf tournament, and once when he was conducting a the first-ever cannibal symphony. J.T. is right behind Douche with his second bag and then they both get their third. Gross -- Douche is still in contention for immunity. Miraculously, Erinn gets her first bag while no one else has managed to get another bag, tying it up for the last spot in the second round. Debbie gets her second bag while Sierra's method of throwing her grappling hook is ridiculous and unsuccessful. And Stephen, of course, has managed to get a knot in his rope that he must stop to attend to. Despite this, he manages to get a second bag before everyone else and is tied with Debbie for that last spot. But she's able to get her third bag back before him, which sucks because I'm sure Stephen could have kicked everyone's ass at that maze unless he tripped over his shoelaces or something.

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Survivor

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