Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 581 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
For The Lava God, Here We Go Again

We drift over the mountains -- and please, if you haven't already, take a moment to appreciate the fact that this show remains, among other things, visually scrumptious in a way that it doesn't always get credit for -- and back to Lopevi. Brook and Rory take some time to wash off in the creek that's serving as their water source, but Brook interviews that they don't want to use the creek water to drink until they can boil it, so again, it's a race for fire in order to be able to get water. We see Chad dragging a big tree over, presumably for shelter-building. Wing Chun gets a shout-out as John P. explains that the method he's using to try to make fire worked at home -- when he was practicing! Someone practiced making fire at home ahead of time! Granted, it's not working right now, but still! At least he thought of it! ["John P. is now the smartest Survivor of all time by a pretty wide margin. Got a little choked up when I saw that at least one person practised, God bless him." -- Wing Chun] John claims that he's doing it just the way the "aborigians" did, so there goes his medal for being the Smart One. ["Yep, there goes the moment. I did enjoy it, though." -- Wing Chun] Chris explains that John is trying to prove himself, but that he's not smart enough. "He's got the frame, but he ain't got the brain," Chris says, clearly believing this to be a bon mot. Bon not.

John does get some smoke to appear, but the one ember -- or, as John says, "amber" -- that they provoke doesn't do them any good because they aren't able to get it to catch. Chad interviews that he thought they were close to fire, but that it just didn't happen. And now, it's time for Chad's big reveal, which comes when he asks the guys if they agree that he did fine coming down to camp, no problems or anything, and they all seem fine with that. He unzips his convertible pants, and as he pulls off the bottoms to make them into shorts, we see that he has an artificial foot and lower leg, which looks like it starts maybe at about the knee or a little lower. Chad interviews that once he had proved himself with something "physically demanding," he could let them in on his situation. He explains to the guys that he lost his foot to cancer about a year and a half ago. "Dude, it's inspirational that you're here," Chris says. Ugh. "Inspirational." ["Yeah, Chris, Chad survived cancer just to give you a little morale boost. Ass." -- Wing Chun] John K., the "mechanical bull operator" whom I can't yet tell apart from Brady, says that he had no idea that Chad had an artificial foot. And excuse me, but I call bullshit on "mechanical bull operator" as an occupation. Doesn't that just mean you tend bar in a honky-tonk? I mean, seriously.

Survivor

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