They Came At Us With Spears

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
For The Lava God, Here We Go Again

Jeff awkwardly brings up the women. Travis kind of goes, "Huhn," and Jeff wants to know what the grunt is for. "Jay-uff," Travis says, "Ah've said it wuuuuunce, ah've said it a thousand taahmes, you nay-ver underestimate a woman." He claims that he knew all along that the women would come out fighting. He hopes that everybody now "respects these ladies." He reminds the team that the women appear capable of "kicking [their] tail." Jeff goes for gossip, asking Brook whether there's anyone he "wouldn't mind ending up on a tribe with." Oh, shut up, Jeff. Brook again refuses to bite on the bait very much, saying that although he did notice the "tails" on some of the women, he was busy being impressed with how competitive they were. And as much as I don't love these guys, I'm glad that they really do seem to be resisting the boob-talk that Jeff is obviously trying to provoke, and...just stop it, Jeff. ["Really. That's beneath the bitchy, direct Jeff I have come to love over the past couple of seasons" -- Wing Chun] Brook does admit to "peeking over quite often." But the guys seem to decline to spend a lot of time dishing about who has the best ass, and I wish Jeff would just stop asking one of these days.

Jeff asks J.P. whether the group was surprised to lose to the women. J.P. seems to think it's obvious that "Nine males, Jeff!" would expect to beat a bunch of women. Sigh. "We're going to have to come in and play the game a little bit harder," he says. "They just raised the level of the game."

And now, it's voting time. Brook votes for Chris. Rory votes. Lea votes. John votes. Brady votes for Rory. Travis votes. Chad votes. J.P. votes. Chris votes for Brook, saying "it's all part of the game." Jeff heads off for vote-tallying.

When Jeff comes back with the urn, he gives the usual "vote is final" speech. And then, the first vote goes to Chris. Second vote, Chris. Third vote, Rory. Then Brook. And Brook again. And Chris. And Brook. And Brook. Aaaaand...Brook. Brook unhappily stands up with his torch and is snuffed. SNUFF! Ah, the smell of roasting beefcake. J.P. and John do not look happy. Jeff sends the group back to camp, reminding them that they still don't have fire or water. I'm sure they're grateful for the reminder.

Smartest person in that vote, for my money? Unquestionably Brady. It looks like a dumb thing to do, not coordinating with anyone, but at this point, you now have J.P. and John isolated from the other guys, so they're likely to be the next targets rather than you. At the same time, you haven't thrown in with an unwieldy group of five guys, which is a good idea, because six is too big an alliance. What Brady should be hoping for, and what he's set up a fairly good chance to accomplish, is that some subgroup of the guys who voted for Brook will try to suck him in once the group gets a little smaller. He's sort of removed himself from the battle, in a sense, so it looked really smart to me. Of course, this means he will be the next one voted off. Which will make me cry, because...he's kind of hot. And he's in the FBI! Usually, the guys I'm attracted to are from the other side of the law-enforcement process.

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