They're Back!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Tina Tumbles

Indeed, back at Mogo Mogo where the shelter is being built, an interesting conversation follows. Hatch tells the guys how the girls were scheming because they thought the boys were scheming, and Lex suggests that they all just put aside the scheming and work on camp stuff, because there will be plenty of time for treachery later. Lex's nipple ring says that they should just worry about winning the challenges and doing their work, and worry about voting when voting comes up. Everyone looks at each other for a minute. Time passes. And then Colby says, "I don't trust any of you sons-a-guns," and everyone laughs. Heh, even me. Yeah, when it hits just the right note, the wild paranoia really is a little bit funny. ["Did I mention I still love Colby? I do!" -- Wing Chun] Colby goes on to say men, women, whatever -- he thinks they're all snakes. Heh. Hatch interviews that he's "figuring out how to play" this "different game." Apparently, he's going with "annoy the crap out of everyone" as an opening gambit. He says that he's a "big-ass target" (oh, write your own joke), so he's just trying to "stir the pot a little." Hey! Do not do the dance, Hatch.

Shii Ann and Jenna come over to talk to Hatch about trying to start a fire with a rock and the machete. He's busy frolicking in the water. As he starts to emerge to talk to them, Shii Ann asks whether he's naked. "Wouldn't that be shocking?" he deadpans, just as his goodies surface. "Yeah, he's naked," Shii Ann mutters. She and Jenna beat a hasty retreat. "That's enough," Shii Ann mutters some more. We get one last naked-Hatch shot before the segment ends. I really don't need much of this; it's really not that funny, the nudity. The odd thing is that he does it as an aggressive, unsettling behavior, and the best thing the women could do if they want him to stop it? Is to ignore it. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be something that's going to happen.

After commercials, we return, where it is still Day 1 at Chapera, and the fire efforts are continuing. Tom and Boston Rob are wildly rubbing wood on wood, while Amber and Amazon Rob do the blowing. That is the dirtiest sentence about camping ever. Nothing doing, fire-wise. Alicia looks around despondently. She interviews that they need fire in order to boil water, and that the first team to get fire and water is going to have a huge advantage from the start.

Sue tells the rest of the crew that she tried making fire back during her own season, and that she knows that she just isn't the fire-making type. "All right, there's that positive attitude we're looking for," sighs a frustrated Boston Rob. She insists that she killed herself for two days straight trying to start a fire, and they've only just started, so they don't know how she feels. Big Tom interviews with some irritation that Sue won't help with the fire, because she insists she tried it last time. "Well, this ain't last time," he says. "This is this time." He's a deep and profound thinker, to be sure.

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