They're Back!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Tina Tumbles

We now see the non-fire-starting Sue, sporting quite the impressive wedgie, walking up to the water well. She interviews that she will not even let herself approach dehydration, because it's such a hard thing to come back from once you go down that road. We see her take a coconut, dip out the skunky water, and drink deeply. She explains that she lived in Canada for six years and drank water directly from the lake and that didn't hurt her any, so she fears no brain-paralyzing amoebas. ["A lake in Canada and a standing pool of water in Panama are exactly the same, by the way." -- Wing Chun] "The way I see it," she says, "I've drank enough beaver poop in my life that my body can handle whatever might be growin' in there, eh?" Yes, and that's why beaver poop is so often used as an antibacterial agent. The hospital formula is especially potent. Back at camp, Rob M. asks Sue if she really drank the well water. Yes, she confirms, she did. "Rob," she says, "I've probably dranken [sic] worse water." Alicia asks her how much she had, and Sue confirms that it was several coconuts full, until she was too full to drink any more. "Can anybody say 'dumb-ass'?" Rob asks. Well, the audience can, I think. To you, even. Boston Rob laughs, and then turns in the vague direction of the cameras and crew and says, "Oh my God."

In an interview, Boston Rob explains why he even cares what happens to Sue. "If you get sick and you have to check out of this game," he says, "you're leavin' five other people here to do the job of six." Hee. Yeah, he doesn't care if she gets brain-paralyzing amoebas, but she'd better be around to do her share of the wood-chopping. Big Tom says back at camp that if Sue's going to die, he doesn't want her body left at camp, because it will make a mess. She is so inconsiderate.

Merry drums bring us back to Saboga. There, an equally intense fire-producing effort is ongoing. Rupert is able to produce smoke, but no fire. I think there's a good metaphor there. He interviews that they, too, need fire so that they can boil water. Out in the water, he interviews that they could make like Rudy and just drink it, but that he's not inclined to go for that option. "None of us want [sic] to die," he rasps. Heh. As it turns out, Ethan can't make fire, either. He does make a lot of attention-gathering grunting noises, though, and I'd say that's pretty symbolic as well. Jenna L. interviews that they got excited every time they saw a puff of smoke, but that they were never able to make it into anything. Rudy is trying a bow-based method of producing friction. "This is the right way," he says. Unfortunately, when he actually tries to put it into practice, he snaps the bow in half. Hee. For some reason, I am finding this episode unreasonably funny. Perhaps I've been drinking. "Unless God strikes a log around here with lightning," Jenna says, "we might never get fire." (God: "Don't look at me.")

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