Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Elephantitis

Okay, so, Probst is out of control on this week's "previously on" segment. First he starts off by going all the way back to the beginning of the freaking season, and then he's off crapping on Fang again, saying the amazing Kota tribe "systematically devoured the weak and struggling" Fang. He does not see fit to mention Fang's two wins, but instead skips to last week's tribe switch. Now he focuses his rage on Kelly, as he says Fang had the chance during the switch to "improve themselves," only to "foolishly" pick "weak players" like Kelly over strong ones like Bob, the confused old man. Then Fang lost the immunity challenge and were at "an all-time low," as somehow demonstrated by Ace's weird quote about legless chickens and sleek weasels. At Tribal Council, they had a choice to vote for the "strong player" Jacquie or the "weak" Kelly and "as though they had a death wish," they voted out Jacquie. Death wish, my ass! That was strategy. All they have to do is keep voting out the old Kota tribe members and then they'll have the numbers in the merge. They may have to lose challenges to do that, but it's worth losing a few battles to win the war. Although I'm not so sure Fang is seeing it like that. In fact, I think they might just be sucking. But at least they're sucking with a big majority alliance!

Fang returns to camp and GC immediately sets to making rice, because it's not like they're running low on it or anything. He asks Ken if he wants some, and Ken half-heartedly says yes. I can't wait for their rice to run out. It's gonna be hilarious. Ace points out that Sugar will be starving when she arrives, since she hasn't eaten in three days. Ha! Sugar is full. Girlfriend partied it up at Exile "Island." Looking worried for once, Ace says that with Jacquie now gone, he knows things aren't looking good for him. He says he'll have to pull off a "coup de grĂ¢ce once again." When did he pull off his first one, exactly? As Sugar arrives at Fang (they made her walk over in the middle of the night? Mean), Ace says she has the immunity idol up her sleeve, and he thinks he has Sugar in his pocket. That's a lot of clothes for the idol to be hiding in. Fang greets Sugar and Kelly is all fake smiles. Sugar quickly figures out that Jacquie got the boot. "That sucks," she says. She tells us she was expecting to see Jacquie and Ace there, not Kelly. She hopes that it was dark enough out so Kelly didn't see her incredible disappointment. Yeah ... it would have to be very dark indeed for Kelly not to hear you say "that sucks."

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Survivor

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