Survivor

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Elephantitis

Matty tells us that they've heard the elephant around camp, but this is the first time they've been able to see him. He and Ace kayak over to the elephant, which is SO STUPID. It's a good thing the producers probably have it on a leash. GC watches them row out there and thinks they're brave. No! They are dumb and don't respect that wild animals are WILD. "Leave the elephant alone. That's how people get hurt," GC says. Yeah, he must have seen the same Youtube video I did, when a boat of American tourists saw a mother elephant and her baby in the water and decided to get closer to see the cute baby, even though the adult elephants were shaking their ears at them in a clear sign to stay away. They got closer, and the elephants attacked and most of the people in the boat died. Matty and Ace approach the elephant, who lets out a mighty sound effect. Matty tells us that seeing the elephant today while surrounded by a camera crew for a top ten American TV show with several million dollars invested in its success made him appreciate the simple and pure things in life. I'd just like to point out that while Fang appreciates and admires the wildlife around their camp, Kota cruelly tortures it by throwing it on a plank and telling everyone to touch it while it struggles to breath.

Reward challenge time! *I have to say, the place where they stage the reward challenge really is beautiful. Kota arrives first, and they are warmly greeted by Probst with a "how's it going, Kota?" He hugs them each and plants a firm kiss on each of their ass cheeks. Then Fang walks in, and Probst says Jacquie was voted out at the last Tribal Council. "They got rid of Jacquie?" Susie asks, while the rest of Kota looks horrified. They should, too, because now they've lost one more person in the old Kota alliance. Charlie and Corinne seem especially upset, and Marcus pulls his team together, telling them to focus on the challenge for now. But Probst won't stand for that, and asks Kota how they feel about this development. Marcus says he's very surprised, given Jacquie's "effort" in the last challenge. Yes, well, effort counts for nothing in this game. Marcus calls Jacquie's boot "shocking," but there's no electric catfish around so I don't know what he's talking about.

And now it's time for the challenge. There's a large pile of fruit that contestants must throw to their tribemates through holes in two plexiglass walls that have been made to look "African" with limited success. Meanwhile, members of the opposing tribe will be standing in between the wall with clubs, trying to intercept the fruit. The team with the heaviest fruit basket at the end wins ... an herb garden. While the rest of the tribe tries not to look sad that they didn't get a chocolate cake or steaks, Bob is so thrilled to see the herb garden that he does a hip thrust. They love herbs in Maine, I guess. Probst says they also get some salt and oil, which the camera shows as "chili sauce." Not quite the same. They also get to keep whatever fruit they catch. This prize sucks, but the teams claim it's worth playing for.

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Survivor

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