The next morning, Mike is reading over Krista's hot pink bible, much to Matt's delight. Even better, he's reading the gospel of Matthew. What a kiss-ass. Ashley is sitting at Matt's side the whole time, though, to ensure that no inter-tribal bonding happens, and all three of them talk about Bible stories and how Jesus fasted for forty days and forty nights, not unlike them on this show. You know, I'm not even Christian and comparing Jesus starving in a desert for forty days and nights while Satan tempted him with all kinds of cool stuff to a bunch of wannabe actors playing Survivor offends me. Unless, of course, Jesus won a million dollars after he got out of the desert. Then the comparison is apt. Matt talks about how he felt like God wanted him to win his way off of Redemption Island and interviews that he thinks he was put on this show for "a reason." Yes, he was: he's young and attractive and some lazy casting person came across him on the beach or in a grocery store and put him on a show that he's obviously never seen before because they think we, the audience, are so stupid and easily entertained that we'd rather see bland good-looking people stumble through this game than actual skilled players who want to be here. But Matt thinks the reason he was put on this show was to honor God, which he apparently couldn't do back at home as a "pre-med student." Thus, he says, he is now "morally conflicted" about turning against his former tribe, whose members he claims to sincerely care about. Idiot, those members voted your ass out once already! Do you think Jesus let Judas betray him twice? NO. He got his revenge on Judas for flipping to Pontius Pilate's tribe by sending his ass down to the lowest circle of hell, according to Dante. But Matt isn't Jesus, so he says his heart is telling him to stick with Onomatopoeia and not screw them over after all.
Meanwhile, Rob listens in on the Bible study, but has nothing to add to it. He mutters to Natalie that it's in his and his alliance's best interest that he talk Jesus with Matt, but he doesn't know what he would say. Natalie giggles. Rob interviews that there's a "Christian Coalition brewing" in his new tribe, and while he has nothing against religion and God, he has a serious problem with other people bonding with each other over a shared interest. Unless, I'm guessing, that shared interest is Rob and how awesome he is. "I want that broken up," he says. His first target: Mike.













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