This Game Respects Big Moves

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
Jesus Hates Matt

Back on Redemption Island, Matt worries that today's challenge will use his foot, which he just cut wide open, as he shows us in a close-up. Ah, but did Matt cut his foot, or did Jesus cut Matt's foot? Meanwhile, Sarita, who is clearly going to lose this thing, says something about how she will be a "worthy opponent." Everyone arrives at the Redemption Island Arena, and Probst informs them all that the winner of today's challenge will indeed be re-entering the game. Rob reminds us that this is bad news for him, since if Matt wins, he'll no doubt be gunning for Rob. Probst explains the challenge: Matt and Sarita must stand on tiny little footholds until one of them falls. Now, when we've seen this challenge in the past, it seemed to favor the female contestants, especially when the male contestant has a cut on his foot. So things are looking good for Sarita except for the fact that Matt simply cannot lose.

The challenge begins. Matt's cut foot may not be such a disadvantage for him after all, as he has a bandage around it that looks like it could help stop his foot from slipping. Some of Sarita's former tribemates cheer her on. Both contestants make it fifteen minutes without falling, so they get to move down to a thinner set of footholds. This is getting boring, so Probst asks Phillip to pontificate about the "booshoodoo" Samurai code for, like, ever. Or at least, that's what the editors want you to think, as they play him talking over shots of bored and/or laughing contestants, the clouds racing across the sun, the elapsed time counter ticking away, the sun setting, pages flying off a calendar, trees growing, and the universe continuing its infinite expansion. When Phillip is finally done, Steve is totally weirded out and the rest of his tribe has almost definitely decided that they'd rather be voted out one-by-one rather than stay in the game longer by attempting to align with this weirdo, and Matt says his usual "thanks, Phillip." With that, he and Sarita move down to their final foothold. Both struggle, and Probst reminds us that this has been a good challenge for women in the past. Indeed, Matt looks to be having pain in both of his feet, while Sarita stays still and seemingly cool. But then, she starts to groan in pain and you can almost see the point where she decides to give up written on her face before she falls. Probst proclaims Matt to be the winner and asks how Sarita is feeling about this. Of course, she's upset. But we don't spend much time with her before she's tossing her buff in the fire and leaving for good. I'm sure she'll have a great time with Krista and Stephanie and Li'l Russell in the Losers Lodge. Hopefully, she'll hang out with Kristina and Francesca or something.

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