Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 469 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Palau, Right In the Kisser

Actually, by "loser job," I think Tom means "job for losers," and here are some now. As we have seen so many times in the past, the purported makers of fire start out with the bow theory of fire-building, and they snap the thing in half. As usual. Jolanda calls for a "strong man," and it turns out that what she wants him for is to knock the heels off her shoes with a machete. We then hear all about the difficulties of coping with being left in their regular clothes from Ian ("Dolphin Trainer"). I loved Ian immediately, and couldn't figure out why until it was quite correctly pointed out to me that he bears a certain resemblance to Djb, even though he is reportedly 6'7" and Djb is not, quite. We watch as some of the girls cut off pantlegs and whatnot, and Ian sounds like he thought all the skirt/pants modifications were pretty cool. And then in a moment that cemented my love for him for eternity, he talks about all the shirts that were being tied up. "I had mine tied up earlier," he says with a grin into the camera. "But I decided to...stop for now." Well, seriously. It's nice to know that chicks aren't the only ones eyeballing everybody else and being like, "Um, can I have a Hefty bag?"

The group that has gone off for water finds a well out in the middle of what certainly appears to be a mowed expanse of lawn with a paved path next to it, so that's a little odd. Angie ("Bartender"), along with her many tattoos, says that they were incredibly glad to find the water. And along with the water, they find a large duffel bag containing everyone's regular shoes. As the group makes its way back to camp, Coby comments to Angie that there are an awful lot of young and good-looking people, and they appear to have a lot of potential power. Angie interviews that as soon as she and Coby saw each other, they "knew [they] were going to be kindred to one another," based on how edgy and outsider-y they are. "We understood being different," she says. "We understood being ostracized." She is dead meat with that attitude. ["She's still dealing with high-school shit, clearly, and she needs to get over it." -- Wing Chun] Coby tells Angie that he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her, since he knew he wouldn't be "the weirdest one." She laughs and says, "Oh, I felt the same way, I thought, 'Oh, we're going to totally get along fine.'" Which, of course, is not quite what he said. He said that she was weird, not that he liked her. After all, if those two thoughts were perfectly congruent, I would be a lot more popular. In an interview, Coby points out that he and Angie both have that sort of self-consciously "different" vibe, and he thinks that they'll have to watch out for being too much like outcasts, or they'll knock themselves out. To me, that scene just showed that Coby has infinitely more confidence than Angie does, because she is desperate to have a friend immediately -- any friend -- and he doesn't really care that much. He can recognize similarities between himself and another person without that saying "soulmates" to him. He's clearly okay with where he is, and he feels like he can mesh with the group, while Angie thinks that she has to try to forge a separate little Losers' Lunch Table. And while I understand how she feels, that's no way to play this particular game. If there's one thing that doesn't bode well on the first day of Survivor, it's being needy. Well, and being old, unless you're an old crazy lady, because they occasionally do well, which kind of gives some hope to Wanda.

Survivor

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