This Has Never Happened Before!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Palau, Right In the Kisser

Koror makes it to the wall with their little fire crate. Ulong isn't that far behind -- Koror is only about halfway over when Ulong shows up. Probst notes the lack of fire on Ulong's part. "Interesting strategy," he notes with evident disgust.

Koror finishes crossing the wall and heads through the swamp with a growing lead. Their lead, of course, grows in the flat-out racing parts of the course, because they're not dragging as much crap with them. They get to the beach and to their canoe first. They head out. Probst tries to keep Ulong moving as it reaches the beach and its boat, suggesting that they might still catch Koror with excellent paddling. But as Koror, which I believe is receiving shouted instructions from Ian -- though it might be Gregg -- hits its flag on the first shot, Probst notes that Ulong is actually...paddling in totally the wrong direction. They seem to have no ability to measure which way they're going, and they also seem to be having everyone paddle on the same side. Among other things, I think their frantic arrival led to their not really stopping to work in any deliberate way; they're just all digging as hard as they can.

Koror, on the other hand, paddles simply and efficiently toward shore. Ian seems to absolutely know how to steer a canoe from the back, so I think that's helping them a great deal. His profile lists past work as an "outdoor adventure group dynamics facilitator," which might make you turn out twee, but would probably teach you canoeing, as would being a camp counselor, which he also was. (Don't you love it when I do research?) Ulong, meanwhile, actually screws itself so thoroughly that they wind up backwards, and the people in the boat turn around and make the back into the front and the front into the back, because it's that or try to get the whole canoe to turn. The long and the short of it is that Koror kicks Ulong's ass while Ulong is still wandering aimlessly out in the water. That was not close. Koror wins immunity and reward, and Ulong is headed to tribal council. You can also tell that Koror has won the crucial Race to Bond First, as their on-shore hugs already look somewhat genuine. They also seem to have fewer total jerkwads, and that undoubtedly is also worth something. Jeff hands them the idol. They crow in victory as Jeff tells them that they have one choice remaining. There's no more tribes living together, so they can either go back to the old beach kick off Ulong, or they can go to the new separate beach. The tribe turns to Tom for an answer, and he suggests that they head for the new beach. ["Dumb. Bye, Tom." -- Wing Chun] They decide to take their chances with the fresh start, and Jeff gives them the map. And then Jeff tells Ulong they can go home and get ready for tribal council. He manages not to add "suckers," although he kind of wants to. I think you can tell a couple of promising things about Koror, although it's too early to say how the game is going to go. One is that several different folks have already been leaders at various times -- Caryn has, Tom has, Ian has, and even Gregg sort of has. So you don't have that chaotic screaming crapola that you get when a team is just milling around like confused ants.

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