This Has Never Happened Before!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Palau, Right In the Kisser

Jolanda eats a grasshopper. Well all right, then.

Coby, Caryn, and Gregg chat out in the woods about whether it would be better to get rid of threats, or what approach they prefer. Coby asks Gregg whether he's leaning toward the girls, and Gregg admits that he doesn't really have thoughts right now; he's just doing his shirtless walking-around thing. Which I want to say I support completely. Coby says that he's leaning toward Jonathan, and there seems to really be no reason for that, particularly, except that Jonathan jumped in the water. Caryn puts up a halfhearted defense of Jonathan for working so hard, but Coby brings her back to the brutally rational point that "everybody's working hard," which is really code for "It's not a work ethic contest, actually." Coby just shrugs that he doesn't "connect" with Jonathan. As if you need to "connect" with anyone on this show. As if you'd want to. Coby interviews that the entire group is convinced that they're going to head for tribal council practically immediately, so it's thrown off everyone's idea that you generally have at least three days to get to know people -- and for them to get to know you -- before you have to start scrambling. He also claims to have been going around all day to little groups of people and asking in a way he's convinced is very subtle whom they might be interested in getting rid of. And he's suggesting Jonathan. And as he points out, people are very likely to go along, because at this stage, they just don't want it to be them.

That night, there is sleeping. And then it becomes morning. And Tom is chopping coconuts, and other people are sucking them down. And then feet are plodding through the jungle. Not just any feet -- mysterious feet. Rich feet. Famous feet. Ultimately, feet of clay, but still. Coby finishes sucking the juice out of a coconut and declares it "cashed." Snerk. "Cashed." Hey, there's no reason to put aside your lingo just because you're in the jungle. And then, out of the jungle, here come those feet. And they're attached to...Jeff Probst! He greets the group and Katie claps and cheers, like, "I could be the next Mrs. Probst!" Which is true, after all. Jeff begins the festivities by pulling Ian and Jolanda over to separate spots on the beach. Hey, do you smell team-picking? Oh, me too. Indeed, Jeff explains that this is where they pick tribes. And the evil twist is that they'll choose two tribes of nine people, meaning that the two people who aren't chosen will be done. So that's how they're doing the first pruning of this unwieldy group of individuals. And it's only that elimination from which Jolanda and Ian are immune, incidentally. The picking will alternate men and women, and once Ian and Jolanda make the first picks, each pick will be done by the last person picked. In other words, when you're chosen, you choose the next person. Because they're alternating sexes, men will pick women and women will pick men.

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