Shambo walks over to the men to try to rally for votes, doing just as terrible a job with them as she did with the ladies. Erik won't commit to not writing her name down but says that his lack of commitment doesn't mean that he's voting for her. He interviews from inside a tree that "Shambo is on a need-to-know basis," most likely because she doesn't have the ability to control what comes out of her mouth and they want to keep their four-way man alliance a secret. And so, they have a truly ridiculous meeting that must be transcribed for you to get the full effect of how awesome it was:
John: Shambo, who are you voting for tonight?
Shambo: What are your thoughts?
John: Erik, if you were Shambo, who would you vote for tonight?
Erik: If I were Sham-BO I would probably stay consistent.
Erik: Consistent. I'd stay consistent.
John: (sigh) Meaning who you voted for last time is probably your best bet.
Shambo: What if you were John?
Erik: I would follow the leader. As in, Shambo's the leader.
Shambo: And if you were Erik, who would you vote for?
John: (done with this) I'd vote for Monica. Who are you voting for, Shambo? Do you get what this is about yet?
Shambo is so happy that everyone appears to be voting for Monica that she doesn't get that John is totally insulting her intelligence. Erik tells Shambo to "lock it up" and keep this quiet. She responds by trying to bump fists with the guys. "Pounding fists is not locking it up," Erik says. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to see her vote for a new tribe member named "Consistent," because she clearly does not understand what is going on. Like, ever. And yet, she managed to keep herself hydrated and Russell didn't.
Both tribes arrive at Tribal Council. Because there is no pizza reward to lord over the losing tribe, both tribes will sit down together for a joint Tribal, the first ever! Probst smiles that for the first time ever, they have thirteen people at Tribal Council. Actually, they had more in Season 10 when they pulled this same bullshit "both tribes must vote someone out thing" and the winning tribe got to eat beef stew in front of the losing tribe, but that's because back in those days contestants didn't drop dead twice a season. Anyway, Probst fills everyone in on Russell's departure, saying that when his heart rate dropped and he blacked out for like a third time, he had to be pulled from the game. Mick nods at this, because he's a doctor and thus knows that when people's hearts don't work right, they should not be on a show like this. "It was the scariest moment I've ever had on this show. Nineteen seasons, I have never been more afraid in my life of how bad things were. Russell was in terrible shape," Probst says. Meanwhile he's grinning like an idiot the entire time he says this, like, what the hell? Way to really hammer home the grave danger of the moment with a huge smile on your face, idiot. But I think he's right -- that probably was the scariest moment he's ever had on the show. Some would say it was when Mike fell in the fire, but Probst wasn't there for that, so it wouldn't have been a really scary moment for him personally. Also, Mike didn't lie on the beach, unresponsive, with his eyes open.