The rain from last week continued into this week's episode so the contestants arrived at the reward challenge drenched, freezing, miserable, and basically half-dead. Some more than others, as we would soon discover. The reward was nasty Survivor pizza, to be enjoyed in the face of the losing tribe at tonight's Tribal Council, where both teams would have to vote someone out. Except then Russell died during the challenge so they had to end it prematurely and no one won. Seriously, the guy slumped over a table maze with his jaw was supporting his entire body at one point, and then he passed out a second time with his eyes open just to give the show's legal team a few heart attacks of their own. Probst sent the tribes away with no pizza and said they'd both still have to vote someone out tonight. Russell tried to claim that he was fine, but the medical team, blood pressure cuff, and heart monitors said differently, so he was taken out of the game as epic tragedy music swelled on the soundtrack. Back at camp, the contestants schemed about who should go next, with the votes being between Liz and Natalie on Foa Foa and Shambo and Monica on Galu. Both tribes went to Tribal and exchanged semi-heated words and challenges to each other before Probst informed them that because Russell was taken out the game, there would be no vote tonight. And just when you thought Probst was a good guy for staying by Russell's side when he was dying and stuff, he goes back to his jerky self and doesn't give anyone pizza.
The Previously segment is driving me crazy. It does every season, but this season it seems especially awful. All Probst talks about is how awesome Li'l Russell is and how much Shambo sucks. They're even using the exact same interview clip of Laura saying Shambo is like Gilligan two weeks in a row. Also, I love how Probst acts like Li'l Russell was the reason why Ashley went home last week when even if he had voted for Liz, Ashley still would have gotten the majority of the votes. Also, Foa Foa supposedly didn't discuss their votes beforehand so there's no way he could have had anything to do with them all voting for Ashley anyway. In conclusion: shut up, Probst.
It's Day 15 at Foa Foa and it is still raining. Mick's feet are gross and wrinkly and he's shivering in his shelter, so much so that Natalie accuses him of having a seizure. FORESHADOWING. Mick interviews that the weather has been like this for five days now, and it's so rough that some people were jealous of Ashley last night when she was voted out to a nice, warm bed and a roof over her head. Li'l Russell decides to hang out in the ocean because it's actually warmer in there right now, while Jaison wins my love forever by talking about the awesome cartoon Captain Planet and how much Ma-Ti and his heart element ring sucked. My god, there must be an entire generation of kids out there who talked about this with each other, because my friends and I thought Ma-Ti sucked, too. Especially when compared to Wheeler, who got the fire ring. Except he was an ass, so the most awesome character was, of course, Dr. Blight and her sarcastic computer. Captain Pollution was also pretty cool. Anyway, now Jaison sees the err of his Ma-Ti-hating ways, saying he'd give anything for a heart ring because right now he's having a hard time summoning up the passion to stay in this game. Don't be stupid, Jaison. If you had a fire ring then you could make a nice, warm fire for yourself. Or if you had the water ring, you could control the rain and make it stop. If you had the wind ring, you could just blow all the rain away. Special bonus: you could dry off quickly. And if you had the earth ring, you could use it to make a waterproof shelter. And if you had all five rings, you could summon Captain Planet, who would fly down for like ten seconds before a drop of slightly acidic rain kicked his ass. So even in this case, the heart ring is the least useful of all the elements. Li'l Russell claims to love the miserable conditions and says they make him stronger. I have a feeling he'd be singing a different tune if he didn't have those sixty pounds of fat to keep him nice and warm.