Billy! Billy says that he was "a dream chaser, and not some player." I don't know what that means, but I like him, so I don't care.
Next is Cecilia, who Ozzy calls "the Peruvian princess." She tells us that she's always avoided risk, so this was cool for her.
"J.P., you big stud," Sundra remarks. J.P. says that the game is "brutal." And you can't relax for a minute -- especially not the way he relaxes in this one shot where he looks like he's waiting to be served a peeled grape.
Stephannie tells us that her mind wasn't "completely there." No kidding.
Cao Boi repeats his theory that Asian people suck, basically. But he still trusts them. Or something. It's kind of hard to understand.
Cristina is called a "tough cookie" by Ozzy. She says that being a cop makes it harder to play the game, because she doesn't want to "step over someone." Yes, cops never do that.
JessiFlicka says that she's even stronger than she thought she was. She insists that she has "the right attitude." I always love the ones who are like, "It was a major learning experience, and what I learned is that I am very wonderful."
Brad tells us that the best part was being "outside of [his] comfort zone," and that "it was the best and worst experience of [his] life."
Rebecca agrees with Flicka that being on the show proved to her how strong she is. I think that, among her lessons, she could probably also count "might wear a bigger bathing suit next time, maybe."
Jenny says that she "doubted [her]self," but that she also discovered her strength. That is deep.
Nate says that he "had a lot of fun." He's a "city cat," but he made it anyway. Explaining what he learned from the game, he says, "In life, I'm going with what I feel inside." I honestly have no idea what that means at all, but he didn't say what I was hoping for, which was that he learned that he needs to turn in his slang for some new material.
Candice says that she's "a very competitive person," and that she wants to be "in there." She claims that, with Adam, "what you see is what you get." That, I will most definitely go along with. Also true of a potato. Or a ping-pong ball.
When they get to Jonathan, Ozzy says -- quite obviously sincerely -- "Thank you, Jonathan. Thank you, thank you." And really, I will say this: if you like this ending at all, you should say the same. If you're happy that little Aitu knocked off big mean Raro and wasn't simply devoured itself along the road to, like, a Candice/Parvati F2? You should thank Jonathan. Jonathan gets a lot of the credit, in part because he looked around, realized he was going to lose, and chose the people he would prefer to see win. It's a huge part of the reason we are where we are, and I thank him, too. Jonathan says, "I had so much fun out here, I can't begin to tell you." Aw! He considers getting to Day 33 a fine showing for "a forty-four-year-old Jew in Survivor." He also reveals that he lost thirty pounds in the time he was on the show: "I feel like the guy my wife married," he says as we watch them smooch again. They are my new America's Sweethearts.