Survivor
Thunder Storms & Sacrifice

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Two Skinny Chicks Going At It

And now, Judd. Oh, Judd. Judd starts by asking Danni whether she's ever been ice skating or rollerblading, and for a minute, I think this is just a free question before he lights into Steph. I think Danni thinks so, too, and she says that she has in fact done both, though not well. Judd says that he thinks she just skated by the whole game. Get it? Get it? Do you? Oh, Judd, you wit. ["The saddest thing is that he's been working on that bon mot for days and couldn't wait to bust it out. Hey, Judd, do you like sex? Do you like travel? Fuck off." -- Wing Chun] Judd then asks if Danni was deceitful. Danni says the times she can think of that she was are that she lied to Jamie once and Brian once about whom she was going to vote for. Judd says, arrogantly and haughtily, that this sounds like a lot of lying, so she'd better go home and go to confession. Danni bristles at this, telling him that he should know she asks for forgiveness every day, for things a lot more significant than fucking Survivor strategy. Good for her. That was Danni's best jury moment, to me. Judd's being a total dick at that moment, bringing up shit he has no business bringing up, and good for her for putting him right in his place, shaming him politely, not that he'll get it.

Judd moves on to Stephenie, asking her whether she's still starving. She says she is, but she knows where this is going. Judd berates her for being hungry when she ate so much, and I have no idea what that has to do with anything except that he thinks it's embarrassing for women to be insulted for how much they eat. Steph freely admits that she likes to eat. Judd then starts to hassle her about her strategy, and all the backstabbing, and as you know he must, Judd escalates this into a morality play by saying that Steph "crossed a line" by lying to his wife and telling her that she was allied with Judd. Steph explains -- truthfully, as far as we know -- that she wasn't lying, because she didn't know at the time that she was going to wind up voting off Judd. Of course, Judd acts like this makes no sense, even though it makes perfect sense. So he starts waving his arms all over the place, because that's what guys like Judd do when they don't know what to say. Steph reminds him that he was caught plotting with Lydia, which he denies, claiming falsely that all he did was say he knew who the strong players were. He doesn't apparently remember telling Lydia that he had "no problem" with going after Steph and Rafe. He's not even worth worrying over further, quite honestly. He's the kind of guy who will always sit down thinking he proved he was right, no matter what happens, so arguing with him is sort of stupid. My favorite part of Judd's appearance is that he has totally missed the memo that the rest of the group has gotten over its bitterness for the most part, so this is making him look like an enormous tool and a sore loser. It's one thing when everyone is equally bad, but this is really making Judd stand out. You don't want your figurative headstone to read, "Less Sensible Than Jamie."

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Survivor

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