A canopied speedboat bearing Bob Denver -- I mean "Just Peachy" approaches the Rattana beach. The men and Kelly unload a big crate from the boat as Peachy's hairsprayed coif begins to crack in the wind. The girls decide that it's a refrigerator full of food; Colleen thinks it might be ice cream sandwiches. Or maybe fifty saucers full of milk. Peachy opens the crate to reveal a television, on which he says they'll watch short clips of video sent from home, and that the winner of the challenge will get to watch a longer tape. As he dramatically pushes in the tape he announces, "With that, I give you this: a little something from home!"
First up is a very sweet-faced little guy who doesn't look that fat at all! You got it! He's Rich's son. He has a very timid voice and stutters a bit but says he's doing "pretty well." He appears to be sitting in a jail cell of some sort. Or a classroom. Richard, looking very proud and amused, says, "That is really cool," and Sue says, "It is cool" because she's good at repeating what Rich says. Kelly's freaker boyfriend looks and talks just like her. He says, "Come home and let's go kayaking. I'm ready to go. Peace," and then makes the peace symbol with both hands. He talks just like her saying things like "git" instead of "get." I think they mixed up the tape labels and that's her brother, not her boyfriend. Greg's sister Julie is popped in next; she does seem aware that others might be watching as she asks the castaways to join in when she says, "You make momma real proud. Don't go shamin' the family, sleepin' with everybody on the island." She makes lots of kissy sounds. My tape then spontaneously reverted to a showing of The Spy Who Shagged Me. Fat Bastard sits on in couch with Scott Evil and Mr. Bigglesworth and recites a poem: "You are me. I am you. And you are me. Together we make it to eternity. Not bad, eh?" Somewhere in the middle of this "poem," we are informed that this is Sue's husband, Tim. He then picks up Sue's dog Stimpy who is sitting on the lap of a kid who, on second sight, looks more like Kid Rock's little person than Seth Green. Tim carries Stimpy to the camera making kissy noises. I wonder if the producers included some information on the effectiveness of kissy noises on reinforcing morale when they approached the families for tapes. Susan laughs like a mule and then yells, "Aaagh, my dog looks so depressed!" Suddenly, Colleen's parents pop up out of a bed, which is fairly creepy. We also meet her sister -- I mean "cat." Next up is a paid advertisement for some older female Republican's gubernatorial campaign. Or maybe it's just Rudy's wife. She says, "Hi, Rudy. I bet you're surprised to see me on the island with you," and the other castaways start catcalling and hooting. She holds up Rudy's granddaughter and says she's proud of him whether he wins or not and that she knows he "likes the challenge." Idiot Seanvant's yelling in the background "Forty-five years!" Do you think they'd like to be my grandparents? Jeff says, "That's a love letter," and Talking Rudy Dolls sneers, "Yeah. It was nice." Idiot Seanvant's sister drives his Range Rover, which he tells us they call "The Blue Bomber," and makes some lame joke about crashing the car. As Sean's whole family appears on the screen they look scarily like a sitcom family as they say in tandem, "Come home soon, but not too soon!" Gervase's very cute afro-puffed (tm Stee) daughter shows up on a bouncy toy. She says, "Waazzuupp?" and he says it back, but better, which is good since he has about thirty years on her. She comes up to the camera and blows him a kiss while the S9 ooh and ahh and Jenna says, "She's beautiful," thinking that hers are cuter and wait until everyone sees them. Gervase says, "That's my heart and my soul. Everything, baby," which makes me wonder how his other three kids feel when they see this.
Peachy grabs his big moment and says, "Well, it breaks my heart to say this, Jenna," although there's in big old grin on his face. He tells her that they never received a tape from her family and he's "really sorry." Her face and body literally crumble and it's very sad. The other castaways comfort her and seem genuinely disappointed and slightly angry about the poorly handled situation. Even the alliance seems earnest as Rich says, "It's alright, Sweetie," and Susan exclaims, "Aw, man," as she glares at Just Peachy. Rich is in plotting position; he watches Jenna and then looks at Peachy like, "What could possibly be accomplished by this?" I suspect Peachy made no friends with this dick move. Jenna's voice cracks as she tries to put on a happy face and says, "Are we gonna do the archery now?" Peachy chirps that there's an "upside"; the reward is two-part: a private screening of the winning survivor's full five-minute tape, and then the chance to make a tape of his or her own. Peachy guarantees that Jenna's tape will get there because he'll "put it in the mail [himself]." Oh, how very big of our fake-and-bake Peachy.