Feeling better now, Douche informs us that he's "different than most people" and "one of a kind." I agree with this, if not the examples he then cites: "last of the Mohicans. King Arthur. Legend." I was thinking more along the lines of "Bozo the Clown. The Court Jester. Douche." With that, he quotes Confucius (correctly, too, just like he correctly -- if inappropriately -- quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Did he bring Bartlett's as his luxury item or something? Because I have a photographic memory and I can't even recite quotations word-for-word like that. Just parts of Shakespeare and the last two lines of "Richard Corey.") and does his Warrior Poses while telling us that though he was weak last night, that weakness is actually a strength, as we will see in the coming challenge, in which he promises "even fiercer warriorage." Perhaps he should have spent more time reading a dictionary and less memorizing quotations. Meanwhile, the editors have fun putting special effects on him as he moves so it looks his arms are leaving trails. Or maybe I'm just tripping.
I was hoping this was leading us to a Reward Challenge, but instead we check in on the stupid boring Heroes, who read today's Treemail. "Read it. Read it," Rupert orders Amanda, since he can't read it himself because he's illiterate and also, the broken toe. The tribe gets a catalog from Mervyns that they get to pick two items from to win at the reward challenge. The catalog contains such useful survival tools as a couch and an inflatable bed. They go for a cooking set and a fishing kit, thus ignoring the additional product placement STANLEY tools. Amanda claims that her tribe is now united and working together beautifully after their last win, even though it looked to me like James basically stood there and pointed to the items they were going for without consulting anyone else. Amanda says she doesn't want the Villains to win the reward, although it's not because she wants stuff from Mervyns, but because she doesn't want her tribe to lose momentum. Ha! Screw you, Mervyns!