Survivor
Too Little Too Late?

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Joanna: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Bungle in the Jungle

Gervase votes first. He contradicts his earlier statement by picking Colleen and says, "My vote is for Colleen, because she's giving it to Greg and thus I have a better chance with Jenna." Well, that's what the closed-captioning might have said if I had it. What he really said was, "We don't know what lies ahead right now, but we're hurting so I think we need to stay as strong as possible and, I mean, I love the girl to death but somebody's got to go." Aw. He loves her to death. He and Sean both must have fondly read over their junior-high yearbooks before they came on the show. Greg votes for Jenna and says, "Self-fulfilling prophecy. It seems time to go." We don't know what this means, but it's Greg, after all. Ramoaner votes for Colleen and says, "No comment." Either 'Moaner really doesn't like Colleen and can't bring herself to say anything about her, or else she votes for her because she has no one else to vote for, in which case that's kind of sad. Jenna looks pained as she votes for Ramoaner and says, "Because even though she tried to redeem herself, a little too little too late." I can just see Jenna squeaking this out while admonishing her twins. Her children, for all you breast-joke people out there.

Peachy comes back with the final vote: The first is for Ramoaner; the second vote is for Jenna; the third and fourth votes are for Colleen. And you can't tell me they don't arrange these votes for suspense. The last three votes are for Ramoaner. You can always tell which is the fair vote because that's who Gretchen voted for -- which we now know was Ramoaner. She's the moral compass -- hey, what's that from? Ramoaner grabs her torch and prissily hands it to Peachy. As Ramoaner heads off into the brush wailing and crying and stumbling about, chipper Peachy announces, "You've survived another one!" to the group. And so have we. Pat yourselves on the back.

Next week on Survivor: Sue prefers tapioca and nuts to Dirk and Sean. I thought they were the same thing. Colleen might never live down the dramatic confession that she and Greg are having a "passionate love affair."

In the, like, farewell confessional, you know, Ramoaner, like, claims that the first, like, two, uh, days really, uh, like, hurt her, you know? That, like, and uh, the fact, like, that she didn't, you know, do any work for the, like, ten succeeding, you know, days.

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