Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: A- | 1179 USERS: C+
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Well, hello there, Mr. Goodbar

At Kucha camp, they discover that chicken feed is edible. Elisabeth is concerned that it's been stepped on by "other chickens," but Alicia tells us it's "true Kucha style" to utilize everything they can and that the chicken feed looks like "nuts and grains and corn and wheat and, you know, it just looked so good." It actually does look kind of good, in a nutty, grainy, corny, wheaty I'm-really-hungry-right-now sort of way. Michael burns his hands on the pan of chicken feed while discovering that it's "popping like popcorn" and then that "it IS popcorn!" Alicia comes over and says, "There's popcorn in this pan!" Michael then burns his feet and it looks like he blows on them to cool them off. It's not looking good for Michael and the burning things. Jeff says of the chicken feed, "I don't know. It's good, and I hated it. The whole thought of eating chicken feed just made me sick. But, the more I eat it the better it gets." We then see various shots of chicken feed-eating Kucha members. Jeff appears take feed directly out of Alicia's mouth -- pretty soon all the kids will be doing it. Body shots are so passé. Alicia says, "Do you love it?" and Jeff has a little orgasmic, "Oh, my God!" Alicia tells us they're addicted to the "chicken popcorn" and that they eat it in the morning, afternoon, and evening. She then says, "We're gonna find out, like, somewhere down the road that, like, something was in it and we're gonna have, like, eight nipples and lay eggs," but that until then it's so good she doesn't care about the consequences. Michael, who hasn't killed anything in a while, suggests that they kill the chickens so they don't eat anymore feed. Polly or Henrietta or Ruby looks outraged.

Back at Ogakor, Jerri and Lamber strut down the beach and Jerri hikes up her shorts to show more leg. Keith tells us that Jerri has decided they're going to have fried green tomatoes and points out that they're cherry tomatoes. We then cut to a shot of Jerri telling Keith, "I can tantalize our taste buds with fried green tomatoes this evening" and looking really proud of herself as usual. She then rubs her hands together and makes her Long Nosed Jerricoot face. The Long Nosed Bandicoot, by the way, is a rat-like creature that also squeals while pondering food. Keith says that fried green tomatoes aren't made with cherry tomatoes. My guess is something is made with cherry tomatoes, however, and since I haven't seen him trying to make that something, it's seems like a case of sour tomatoes. He says he wanted to let the green cherry tomatoes ripen on the vine, but that Jerri didn't listen to him. Jerri then calls Keith pessimistic and criticizes his rice-making skills and they get into it, though less finger-wavingly than Alicia and Kimmi did last week. Colby tells us that Keith and Jerri are "like two alley cats scratching at each other" and that's its ridiculous that the others have to sit through it. I think it's ridiculous, too, but not as ridiculous as Tina jumping in and yelling, "Stop it! Both of you! Or you're going to time out!" In a confessional she tells us that she's not their mother and that sending them to time out isn't her job. "To be honest," she says, "I think one of the problems needs to go." That problem is named Jerri and Tina is tired of walking on eggshells around her. At camp they're now eating the little fried green tomatoes. Colby says they taste just like okra and I think they look just like brussel sprouts. Neither makes then a particularly appealing entrée. Even if they are fried. Tina complains that they're sour and won't eat anymore which seems like kind of nitpicky behavior in light of the fact that they claim to be starving. Keith tells Tina, "The fried green tomatoes suck. I knew they would. Poor Colby stomached all of them, including mine. Told her they were great. 'Cause Colby is a gentleman. But I do not like 'em." I'm sure Keith was talking about the cherry tomatoes here, but it's edited so we think he's talking about Colby. Keith's monologues crack me up.

Survivor

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