Trojan Horse

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Trojan Man

Anyway, it turns out that this is the stupid Product Placement Movie challenge, so the winning team gets to watch like five seconds of a movie that is sure to bomb in theaters (remember that Jack Black movie a few seasons back? Yeah. Like that). This time, it's a pile of shit starring Adam Sandler. Cut to the contestants trying to pretend they want to see a movie like that. But their reward for sitting through it and pretending it's funny and enjoyable will be movie food, so that's okay, I guess. Oh, and since the movie is about a twin brother and sister (played by one actor, as Sandler is now trying to be the even less funny version of Eddie Murphy), Probst will go on a long boring explanation about how that somehow ties into this challenge while Dawn tries not to fall asleep.

For the challenge, one set of twins will be the callers and the other two sets will wear blindfolds and have to maneuver through an obstacle course while tied to a rope with just the caller to guide them to a bag with little wooden masks inside it. Once they've brought back the four bags, one of the blind-folded sets will have to pair the masks up into identical pairs simply by touch. Rick and Douche will be the caller pair for Upolu, while John and Jim will do the honors for Savaii. Probst calls go, and the fun of watching people stagger around blindly can commence!

Dawn smacks her head on a wooden post right off the bat, so she's half-dead already. Edna keeps up with Li'l Li'l Russell by grabbing hold of his ass, so she can look forward to being voted off for slutiness next. Oh, but then she smacks her head on a wooden beam like Dawn, so she's probably dead now anyway. "Almost knocked her out!" Probst screams giddily before focusing on "Keith's long body." When you think about it, Probst truly is one of the worst color commentators ever. Or the best. Li'l Li'l Russell makes it to the first bag but he's too short to untie it, so Edna does it for him and they head back. Somehow, they make it back to the start at the same time as Team Keith and Dawn, but while Albert and Sophie quickly head out for Upolu, John takes a while to unhook Keith and Dawn from the rope and hook Ozzy and the blonde girl into it.

Sophie nails her face on a wooden post (I guess that's where the mark on her nose we'll see in subsequent interviews came from) but her and Albert's trip is otherwise uneventful until they get close to the bag and Albert has trouble hearing Douche's screams. Albert manages to get the bag, as does Ozzy, although he and Dawn are still behind. Suddenly, Li'l Li'l Russell and Edna are on the third bag, but struggle to untie it while Keith and Dawn catch up and then take the lead. They make it back, but then, alas, there is trouble. John can't seem to get Keith and Dawn unhooked from the guide rope, although I can't tell if he's doing something wrong or if his tribemates won't just get out of his way instead of standing around like idiots and making everything more difficult for him. Finally, Jim jumps in to try to fix everything while Sophie and Albert (who also has a blue bikini top painted on. Hilarious) set out for Upolu. They're nearly at the fourth bag by the time Ozzy and the blonde set out.

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