Trojan Horse

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Trojan Man

Probst isn't done yet, though - he has to ask Ozzy about his little temper tantrum. Ozzy says he's frustrated and angry, and that his tribe would have won if not for a certain someone who couldn't hook him into the rope correctly. Probst doesn't ask anyone else to speak or defend himself, just sends them away. John gets to speak in the slo-mo walk of shame, of course, saying that he's not so sure that Ozzy is going to come through with his plan to have the tribe vote him out after John made them lose the challenge. We get to see Ozzy's temper tantrum in slow-motion again, too, which I appreciate.

Night falls and it's time for the movies. This generally seems to be the crowd of people who would sincerely enjoy a shitty Adam Sandler movie (this is not to say that all Adam Sandler movies are terrible, not funny, and completely lacking in artistic merit, mind you. Most of them are, and this one looks to be especially so. Like, just the absolute nadir of his career), albeit a three-second long "sneak peak" at it. They enter the cinema and run over to the food. Li'l Li'l Russell barely reaches the counter and so looks like a little boy. Edna obviouses that winning immunity and food is great, and then we have to pretend that this Adam Sandler movie isn't terrible for a while. To her credit, Sophie only laughs once, and probably because of the sugar high. Douche weighs in and says he loved the film, of course, and that it had an important message about family coming first, as if these people will be anything resembling that at the next Tribal Council. "We have to be uncompromisable," Douche says, blowing up my spellcheck. Thanx alott four tgat, Doosh.

Unsurprisingly, things aren't going quite as well at Savaii. Ozzy is still furious, saying that the challenge was a "disaster" that they could - and should - have won. John tells the group to feel free to vent their frustrations with him, as if they weren't already doing that. "What was so difficult?" Ozzy asks. John interviews that he felt like a "new level" of outcast with his tribe that night, then tells Keith, again, to feel free to vent at him. Keith says "it's not about venting - it's about who's going to Redemption Island." Ouch. Ozzy says they should "decide" that as a group, still not putting his own name forward for it as promised, and John realizes that he is screwed. Sure enough, Ozzy comes out with "I hate to say it, Cochran, but you lost it for us." John says he'll do whatever they want him to and that he feels "horrible." Why doesn't he try to defend himself or something? Anything? This "blame me! I'll get better!" act is so old. Even Dawn can't take it anymore.

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