True Lies

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | Grade It Now!

Gong! The sun sets and the camera pans over at least eleven Coors Light empties, but it's difficult to get a clear count and I'm pretty sure there's more than that. Rob scoffs that John thinks he's going to ride the alliance all the way to the end of the game, and Kathy marvels at how conniving he is. Rob asks, "Who is John, some kind of Marquesan God?" and Kathy again laughs hysterically. Although now she has an excuse: she's so shit-faced she thinks dirt is funny. In a confessional, Kathy smugly tells us that she doesn't know Rob's reason for taking her on as his "soulmate or whatever it is." Maybe because she's the only one there? In any case, it happened very quickly, and she doesn't trust it.

Rob and Kathy drunkenly toast each other, and Kathy is excited that they'll sleep under mosquito netting. She adds, "My God, does that mean that we can sleep without pants on?" and Rob's head snaps around. He looks more cornered now than he's looked once during the whole time they've been out there. Kathy tells him not to panic, and we cut to the dropping of her pants (set to the scrolling of a harp) while Rob makes a huge fuss of looking away. Kathy trips while trying to remove them, and we get a cameraful of ass as she bends over. In a voice-over, Rob tells us he saw "another Sarah" in Kathy, and we're supposed to interpret that sexually, but I refuse to go there.

Now Rob and Kathy lie next to each other, and Rob starts a pillow fight. He tells us in a confessional that it will be interesting, because if he "actually do[es] stand by [his] word," the game will change. As they doze off, a cockroach runs by Kathy's foot, representing the changing of the game. Or maybe Rob's cockroach-like reliability. Or how dirty the game of Survivor is, like a cockroach. Or how only Kathy, the cockroach, and a box of Twinkies could survive a nuclear holocaust. Or maybe a cockroach just runs by Kathy's foot. Rob asks whether Kathy will remember their agreement when she wakes up, and she insists that she will. Rob says that it can be the two of them in the end, which Kathy thinks will be a "riot." She proposes, "Let's see if we can do it!" and the light blows out. Now there's a euphemism I am familiar with, although it doesn't mean what they want us to think it means here. But it never does, then, does it?

It's now Day 20, and both Kathy and Rob approach Maraanu's camp on foot. Kathy explains in a voice-over that she and Rob promised not to tell the others that they'd discussed tribal issues. Instead, they'll claim the discussion centered entirely on the new tribe's name and flag. And the lack of pants. As they walk into camp, Rob tells her not to panic, but panicking is pretty much all Kathy does. She voice-overs that they had to get everything out of the camp and onto the raft in five minutes, as we see her walk up to Neleh and Paschal and begin shrieking incomprehensibly, instead of explaining the situation in any sort of helpful way. She then takes off running around the camp, yelling, "Everything! Get the kettles! Get the knives!" Rob, meanwhile, is actually exerting himself for once. Then Neleh and Kathy have a little collision, and Neleh shoves Kathy. It's very deliberate. And funny, too. They're now shaking fruit trees while Rob yells, "Grapefruits coming down!" The raft is completely loaded with goods at this point; I have no idea how it will even float. As the clock, which we don't see -- only hear through Kathy's manic screaming -- winds down, Kathy yells, "Now, Paschal!" and then suddenly they're all hugging each other, because they finished in the allotted time. Rob thinks it's nice to meet Paschal and Neleh, and then acts excited that the four of them did it together. He exclaims, "We're a team -- all of us!" and either he's trying to ingratiate himself into their tribe, or he's genuinely excited to have succeeded. Neleh and Paschal still don't understand, even after Kathy breaks it down monosyllabically: merge. They all float alongside the raft toward Rotwo.

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